Journey with cycles

Remember your first cycle? Remember the first few weeks of learning to ride? 

I do! It was my best friend. A white Cinderella bike! (I couldn't find a picture of it) Every evening would stretch out with Amma teaching me to ride the bike. I fell a couple of times. Learnt the trick. 

It was around for a couple of years. The second bike was called Fun bike (for reasons unknown). It was silver, simplistic and had gears. I think it was my first taste of elegance. Simple, classy and smart. I remember showing off my gears to my girlfriends and other cycling buddies. 

It was on this bike that I had the fright/embarrassment of my life so far. (No, actually worse things have happened since. Still) I was cycling around the block by myself. This manic dog decided to run behind me. It was doing so for a while and I did not bother. As I increased my speed though, it got excited for some reason. It started barking and what seemed like accompaniment changed into a chase! I was pretty scared of stray dogs. I still am! I screamed on top of my voice and cycled with every bit energy in me. 

The chase went on for 2 or so laps, I think. Neighbours and strangers came out of their houses. The watchman shooed the dog away. I did not stop. I continued all the way to the shed and ran to my house top speed. The shame. Sigh. I think I still remember details of the evening quite vividly. 

That shipped sailed away and then it was a Ladybird. I am quite positive every girl (in Chennai atleast) had one when she stepped into the teens! It was a prized possession. I wouldn't let a soul ride it. Not even pigs. I remember fights with him over this one. Well, you can imagine. I was going through the impossible teenage years when I (thought, I) knew everything.

That was it. The Ladybird left home in a couple of years as well. Till today, I am a cycle-less girl! I haven't ridden one in so long by now. Especially after uni. A couple of times in ECP and Pulau Ubin, perhaps. Thats really about it. 

I miss owning a cycle. I have this image of my own saree/design store. There is always a cycle outside the store. I wonder if its mine. I'd like it to be!

Pomodoros!

Less than a month's time for exams!

*freakout freakout freakout freakout*

I should get to the pomodoros! Exam stress is always tough to beat. How ever old you are. How ever smart you are. How ever hard-working you are. That aura in the air cannot be avoided. It helps to sooth some part of it, by employing techniques to concentrate!

The pomodoro technique has been a great find! You set the timer for 25 minutes. Concentrate and work those 25 mins. Take a 5 min break. Repeat the process. Every 25 minutes gets you a pomodoro. After 4 pomodoros, you can take a longer break.

Its great to put down a tick every 25 minutes. Once you do cross 4 ticks, the break feels like you have truly earned it!

Its useful even to get other mundane everyday tasks done. Get a partner and try it out together. I enjoy my 5 minutes break when its synced with a friend! That way you get to chatter and jump back into your work.

4 weeks of writing and an irony

Ironical situations are almost always funny. Even when it is about something grim.

Out of the million ironical happenings of life, one that stood out was friday's post. I have been waiting to celebrate 4 weeks of writing! Its about how I wrote everyday these 4 weeks, how thats helped things and how thats made me feel better. 'Ironically' its coming out only on sunday!

Yea, well.

Its been a very interesting ride! Initially I would wonder what I had to write about. I started making notes whenever I thought of something write-worthy. One week of making notes and supply exceeds demand already!

In a conversation with a close friend, we talked about making things meaningful. So much is happening around me. It takes very little to put it down into a time capsule. This is my current way of making it meaningful. Its a way of remembering the little things that matter!

To a habit that would live long!

Figuring out sleep

I like sleeping. I do. I like the idea of giving the body and the brain some zone-out time to re-energise for a new day! For the fact that I do not want ugly black bags under my eye, I like sleeping.

But I also think its a waste of time. I mean think of all the things you could do if you are not sleeping! So much more time. Before you decide I am one of those weird ones, I have to say this. I have also fully realised that sleeping enough does good and makes my day productive! I have learnt a lesson the hard way. In first year of uni, when I watched a million shows instead of hitting the sack. Life was like this DOGHOUSE comic!

Recently, I discovered sleeping cycles. Your sleep happens in cycles of 90 mins. More detailed information here. If you wake up in the middle of a cycle, your day is groggy and feels incomplete. On the other hand if you complete your cycle, you feel energetic! Believe it or not, it is true.

I now try to keep a structured sleep pattern. Go to bed at 12, wake up at 7:30. If I do not get the 5 cycles of sleep, I try and take an afternoon nap for 1.5 hours.

I think I can say that I have figured out sleep finally!
(Or maybe not!)


PS: Listen to this wonderful playlist, if you are the kind that likes music while sleeping! ITS AMAZING.

To make him happy

Sachin finally made his 100th 100! Phew. How long has the world been waiting for this one. I am no sports buff. But thanks to family and friends filled with adrenaline for sports, even I knew this one was due a long time. 

Thats not however the highlight of this post. Dad called me the other day. He sounded extremely happy. I haven't heard the cheerfulness in his voice in quite sometime. His genuine energy translated into a huge grin on my face!

It was Sachin. Dad is a huge cricket fan! I remember growing up with cricket matches on the TV and dad with his fingers crossed! He would sometimes switch off the tv, saying it was bad luck for the team. Haha. 

We talked about Sachin, my internship applications and our days. It was a refreshing call that night. I realised something as we said our good nights. I would do anything to keep this man happy. I would do anything to hear him speak like that. 

I miss you and your silent love. 

To all the sensibility and perfection you taught me. And continue to do so. 

Lessons from Einstein

Re-blogged from Paulo Coelho's post!

--

1. Follow Your Curiosity “I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.”

2. Perseverance is Priceless “It’s not that I’m so smart; it’s just that I stay with problems longer.”

3. Focus on the Present “Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”

4. The Imagination is Powerful “Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions. Imagination is more important than knowledge.”

5. Make Mistakes “A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.”

6. Live in the Moment “I never think of the future – it comes soon enough.”

7. Create Value “Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.”

8. Don’t be repetitive “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

9. Knowledge Comes From Experience “Information is not knowledge. The only source of knowledge is experience.”

10. Learn the Rules and Then Play Better “You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.”

Little crazy things..

I saw this picture on 9gag yesterday. I was laughing out aloud. How many of us do this?

You know one of those things which you obsess over. One of those things which you think you are the only crazy person to be doing. Well those things don't seem to exist. Apparently.

However tiny it may be, however strange it may be, however weird an act it may be, there always seem to be successors, predecessors or parallels while you are at it. I remember the time when groups used to be all rage on Facebook. And there were groups that made this pretty obvious. 'Drawing rectangles on the desktop', 'Not stepping on the lines of a floor tile while walking', 'Talking to an inanimate thing, like it would listen to you', 'Going through the phase of writing your name on random surfaces' and a million other whacko things.

Things which you wouldn't want to even admit doing sometimes. The whole while you were thinking you are the only one crazy soul on earth doing it that way. And no, there are a gazillion others doing so to!

Its pretty amazing. The way things work. The amount of similarities you can see in people. No matter the race, colour, place or language. Somethings remain qualities of humans.

No one can touch that little bubble of equality.

To a wonderful day!

30 days

I had started reading David Allen's Getting Things Done last month, 15th February. I remember the date so vividly because he said that in the next 30 days something will surely come and surprise you. "Life is always full of it! No matter what you are doing", he said.

I found the thought very intriguing. I marked 15th March on my calendar and wrote 'Did something interesting happen in the last 30 days?'. The message popped up on my phone last night. And guess what, something did happen! Not just one thing, a couple of things even happened. Things that mean a lot to me right now!

Life is really full of surprises. Its never going to be boring. And then again its what you make out of it. In perspective, I think I would have found something that happened and ranked it down on the list of surprises. It need not be a great milestone in my journey. It could have just been a sweet little surprise.

Its always about how you see it. I see it being fine. I see it going good. I see it with me and a smile.

The I will

We needed a video camera for an interview. I took up the responsibility of getting one, somehow. I went around to a couple of places I knew on campus that loaned out cameras. All of them had some reason to refuse one. I got to people who headed Visual clubs. I was unsuccessful there as well. After all the hassle,  we ended up using a friend's DSLR.

Now as I was climbing the numerous stairs in Arts and SDE, I realised that it was important to persevere what you want. I could have given up on going to these corners and enquiring. The only way to find out that we had no video camera was, however that.

I bothered a couple of friends on the way and looked at ways of them being able to help. That was again making sure, the goal wasn't possible.

In the end the message was clear, its all about the will. Yes, I did not get a camera. But, I had the satisfaction of making sure I tried everything I knew possible.

(Almost) Mutiny of pencil warriors

I met with a friend yesterday. We were talking about all things great and small and then I happened to notice his pencils.

Or maybe I should call them pens?

I am not exactly sure. They look like pencils. When it comes to putting them to use we treat them as pens. So technically, they are pens right? And then again it depends on what purpose they are meant for.

If they were meant to be in a photo or just stay in a shelf, they do a very good job as pencils. And when I want to write with them they double up as something else, something entirely different.

I felt so much for the poor pencils (Sorry, I feel like calling them pencils). SO much for their identity crisis.

And then I stopped feeling bad. I realised that you and me are going through that everyday. Someone inside, someone else outside. If not different inside and outside, we end up showing different parts of ourself and our personality to different people/at different places. Its hardly ever the full package right?

The pencils are not going through any crisis. The pencils are normal. They fit in this world. They fit with you. They fit with me. They are happy-smart-little pencils who know how this world works.

I don't need to stress my head over the (supposed) injustice brought to these men! I don't need to plan a mutiny for the pencil warriors.

Kelli Anderson

I watched a TED talk by Kelli Anderson. She is a designer, illustrator and artist. She designs things which make the world a more informed place. A more happy place. This is her TED talk!

She talks about some of her wonderful creations like using paper to play music (I am not kidding you) and this tiny postcard, that tells a story of itself!

I have been amazed more than anything else. That designing and art can include the world and its reality. You can include them to change them. To bring imagination to them. Just a plain awesome thought. I have never thought about art in this way. I usually try to draw something exactly as I see it.

Starting today, I am including this thought in whatever I draw. Drawing to change!

Hungry Stones

I went for a friend's dance performance last friday! Hungry Stones, by Raka Maitra with NUS Indian Dance. It was a lovely night! The dance was evolved from Odissi in a contemporary way I presume.

Like the title suggests its about hungry stones. The house music was welcoming - reminding me of the deep culture of India! It was a good start. The installation was neat and interesting. A pot of water up-stage and water was dripping from the ceiling into the pot. The performers appeared in a while as silent as the walls and slowly moved into the stage, to an increasing beat. Graceful movements created a classy atmosphere.

The dance went on to show different stories of a long-gone century. Passionate lovers, cheerful maidens sharing their little stories and them viewing a glimpse of reality. It was an emotionally powerful performance in my opinion.

There were bits when I could not figure out what they were conveying specifically. The performers' melodramatic expressions made up for this and the general feeling was revealed! The light and sound complimented everything else.

And like I said before, it was a lovely night! I left the show thinking about how inanimate things know so much about our lives. How they are taking in all the stories and keeping them hidden inside. Stones must know a great deal. Stones must be having souls.

Easy vs Right

It was a long night, last night. Me and a close friend were trying to get a lab report done. We were up till 3 figuring out things and putting all the stresses and strains together.

Civil labs are usually self-explanatory. They list down provisions and expectations quite explicitly. You just have to get the experiment right and make sure your data makes sense. While THIS had always been a tough job, we faced something more rigorous with last night's report. The provisions were insufficient. The expectations were sky high. It required a more engaging performance from us. We had to look up information and collect equations to formulate the results. And that obviously took more time and effort.

Anyway, getting back to the night. We went to bed at 3 but ended up having one of those deep conversations about life. I dont even know when we dozed off.

...

The alarm from both our phones went crazy at 8 am. We both had early classes. My body cringed for more sleep and I was reluctantly trying to open my dead eyes. It was decision time. Should I bunk my class? It was graded. Sure. But I had gone to ALL my classes every week till today. It should be okay to bunk one day right? I would get to sleep. I needed that badly. On the other hand, I would break off my chain. I would miss a percent or two for bunking that class. Did it matter though? You know, in the grand scheme of things. I am sure it dint.

But then I remembered something 'you always have to choose between whats easy and whats right..'. Easy, is simply easy and right is almost always hard. I bit my lips and sat up. I knew what I had to do. I rushed to get ready and ran off to class.

All was well. The class was interesting. The report was submitted on time. The right decision always turns out to be .. well, 'right'! Of course and the fruits of benefits are amazing.

Also, I am going to bed early.

Night!

Letters

I love letters. Writing them and getting them. No one writes letters any more. I miss letters.

I remember as a child, my favourite uncle used to travel a lot. And whenever he went to a new place he would send us an letter. The stamp was always meant for me. He had taught me how to remove the stamp from the envelope tactfully and without damage. I enjoyed the process! It was my little ritual.

Now my uncle is retired. He doesn't travel anymore. More importantly he stopped writing me letters. Not just him. I remember when almost everyday dad would pick up letters from the mailbox. Now he hardly does. E-mails. Those unfriendly impersonal electronic mails.

The romance of letters is something close to flight rides, for me. You write a letter, in a place, on a desk in some part of the world. Then you post it. Carrying evidences of from where it came, the letter arrives at your place, somewhere else. You open the letter and it transports you to the person who wrote one for you. You see them writing that letter. You feel them. The bliss.

In all the internet dependent life, letters have become a thing of the past. Even banks which used to post ten million things to you, have reduced their letters. They make you e-transcriptions for most cases.

I wonder if they'll ever make a comeback.

Letters, my fingers are crossed for you. Till then I will do my part and hope to induce your comeback.

Sun rays and black tea

I love early mornings! Its the most pleasant time of the day. The sun starts taking a peek and floods my room with yellow. The sweeper is meticulously brushing leaves off the green grass. The brushing is almost a tune to the ear.

The dew on the grass is fresh. And the smell wafts through the air and in through the windows. A plain screen in front of me. And a cup of black tea by the side. Everything is in the perfect state!

Its a lovely time to think about the rest of the day; to make notes; to take some calm from outside to within; to think; to stretch; to read; to just be. I am beginning to love these early mornings. They are a pleasure to the soul.

Try it. Just one day. Go to bed early. Have sufficient sleep. Ask your mind to wake you up at dawn and go to bed. Wake up and breathe.

Wake up and do what you like the most.

Wake up and just be.

Books - how they keep me going..

I have always loved books. The smell, the touch of pages. The excitement in turning pages to find out more. Ever since I can remember, I have enjoyed one. Thanks to mom mostly always took a book before going to bed. I used to follow her lead and read. And thanks to dad who never refused anything to do with a book. Both of them stock up books like crazy so much so that our house has two walls of books. You can imagine growing up in such a place.

The love was for a long time only around fiction. A trip to the library every two weeks. A 20 minutes session of high. Its always amazing to enter the worlds of the characters. It is exciting to look at things from their eyes, to know what they are thinking. Mostly to just knowing so much about a scene. In real life, its never like that. We are always looking at things from our perspective and only see as much as the eye can reach. This bubble is broken in fiction and the horizon spreads around a couple of people. Sometimes I wish how it would be if that were to happen for real!

A recent love has been self-help books. They have come to be an interesting foray. I call it foray because I never believed in them. I thought I dint need them. And what can beat fiction? Until a friend rather pushed me into it! I could not be more grateful. I have to come to love them and the amount of knowledge I get from them.

The little things about my actions, more awareness around, more observation, more calmness, more thinking before saying, less fights, less uncalled-for-arguments, more confidence and more hope.

It is doing wonders! I know it will continue to. Its truly taken a place close to heart.

PS: DREAMING of the day I get my own wall of books!

The sugar-coated X!

I started this semester with a checklist that measures my productivity every week. It was going well. But at one point it got boring to fill out the form. A close friend was helping me monitor my progress and grill me if dont stick to targets.

Slowly after a month and a half I was getting irregular at filling it out. Even though, I did what I set out to do each day, the feeling of staying on a mission was lost. And that killed some amount of enthusiasm. 'What goes around, comes around' and it eventually affected the performance also.

At the right time, I was introduced to the X-ing by another friend! Its been ten days and I have a much more positive feeling about this one than the older method.

I have a list of essential tasks for each day. At the end of the day if I am done with the task, I get a HUGE CHOCOLATY cross on the calendar for that task! The feeling of putting that cross, ah heaven - and knowing you have earned it. Its an amazing little five seconds. A huge grin runs around my face! Its pure triumph, really.

Whatever happens and I am unable to stick to the scheduled timing for a task, I cram it in the day somehow. Like right now. The blogpost was due early morning. Thanks to being a bit lenient on myself, I get a deserved-cross for the day if I get it done somehow :)

Mom believes in it and encourages the innocence of a child in us like no other. This simple celebration of victory excites the kid!

Have a simple task to get done? Try X-ing it away, it is working for me :) Detailed article here!

Farewell, 'confused'

I have a blog description under the title endangered. Up there, yes! I made a list of the glorious things that get me excited. Right now its the perfect way it should be.

Just a day before if you had noticed it also said confused. My blogger name was also concusfused. I was inspired by that idea for a while. I thought the confusion in me portrayed some part of me that dint know what was going on. Just yesterday though I realised something. No one knows whats going on.

We all know where we want to head. We know what we want to do in life. Some of us know exactly how we should get there. Some more of us are already doing what they want to! And me, I am dreaming up that life. I know exactly the way it should be. I am preparing with the little things that will lead up to that life. It is going just the way it should be!

Sure, I do not know what life has in store for me. However, I know what I will demand of it. I know what will make me happy!

And while this chain of thought goes elsewhere I should to stop to say, I am actually not confused anymore. Atleast not confused about my place.

Why then should the exquisite list of things that describe my life carry confused? Yes, so its out. Over and done with!

Heels!

I love heels. I love the clicks they make when you walk around. I love the little 2 inches they give. I love that they come is the most exquisite of colours and designs. I love the curve from the toe to the heel. I could go for days just looking at stilettos!

Also, I usually don't wear heels. I have been gifted with a tall frame. So firstly, the necessity is lacking. I love wearing them. But secondly, it feels pretty odd when you are towering above average height especially on campus.

Just yesterday, I was working on something when this whole ideas for shoes took a walk into my head. I still remember vividly each one and each pattern. I cant wait to make sketches of the ideas (as soon as my midterms are done!) Its like how Harry Potter walked into Rowling's head. Swish, one swift entry. And suddenly I went into an imaginary realm where I was designing exquisite shoes for the world and becoming the Coco of shoes. I was even having my own fashion show!

Dhanya's shoes sounds pretty lame. I should cook up a brand name. That, I should.

Well, for now the designs will be out in a couple of days. Watch out!
(Thats a John Galliano right there! Sigh)

The first flight

My parents are so not the traveling kind. They love their familiar surroundings and people. Holidays as a child were spent at grandparents places or learning new something at school. Thanks to this approach, I engaged in a lot of sports and art as a kid! On the flip side, I never got to take a flight.

It was always a longing feeling, I remember. Go back to school in July and friends came back with exquisite pink disneyland bags, flashy notebooks and chunky digital watches bought in Amreeka - where they went for a holiday that summer. I would just have my Trichy and Tennis stories to share. No pink bags. No flashy notebooks. No chunky digital watches. Well, not from Amreeka at least.

Eventually it did happen. The flight ride that is. I took my first one to Singapore for university. The excitement was shadowed by all the grief of leaving home. God, had I teared buckets that day. So much so that dad was ready to cancel the ordeal. I could not be blamed. I was leaving my life behind. I was leaving everything that I knew behind. I was leaving a lot of love behind.

The excitement, yes. It was around. I paused the river of agony running down my cheeks for the ritual of first take-off. It was dad and me. Sitting in the last row of the flight. They were emergency seats (lots of leg room, yay!). I clenched my tummy as a sinking feeling set in. Ears were blocked. Ever since that plane crash that happened after landing on the runway, I acquired a habit. To pray before the take-off and landing. Prayers were said. The flight took off. I let the river resume its flow.

The first flight did happen.

Be careful what you wish, cause it just might come true!

No pink disneyland bags. No flashy notebooks. No chunky digital watches. But yes flying. Irony never took a more melancholy dive. Till today, every time I leave home I am wishing I have to take that flight back.

Its a whole new life here. Whole new romance here. Just, not home.