The first flight

My parents are so not the traveling kind. They love their familiar surroundings and people. Holidays as a child were spent at grandparents places or learning new something at school. Thanks to this approach, I engaged in a lot of sports and art as a kid! On the flip side, I never got to take a flight.

It was always a longing feeling, I remember. Go back to school in July and friends came back with exquisite pink disneyland bags, flashy notebooks and chunky digital watches bought in Amreeka - where they went for a holiday that summer. I would just have my Trichy and Tennis stories to share. No pink bags. No flashy notebooks. No chunky digital watches. Well, not from Amreeka at least.

Eventually it did happen. The flight ride that is. I took my first one to Singapore for university. The excitement was shadowed by all the grief of leaving home. God, had I teared buckets that day. So much so that dad was ready to cancel the ordeal. I could not be blamed. I was leaving my life behind. I was leaving everything that I knew behind. I was leaving a lot of love behind.

The excitement, yes. It was around. I paused the river of agony running down my cheeks for the ritual of first take-off. It was dad and me. Sitting in the last row of the flight. They were emergency seats (lots of leg room, yay!). I clenched my tummy as a sinking feeling set in. Ears were blocked. Ever since that plane crash that happened after landing on the runway, I acquired a habit. To pray before the take-off and landing. Prayers were said. The flight took off. I let the river resume its flow.

The first flight did happen.

Be careful what you wish, cause it just might come true!

No pink disneyland bags. No flashy notebooks. No chunky digital watches. But yes flying. Irony never took a more melancholy dive. Till today, every time I leave home I am wishing I have to take that flight back.

Its a whole new life here. Whole new romance here. Just, not home.

Selfless giving

We all know a mother's selfless giving! Some of us are lucky enough to experience it everyday.

It has been a season of sharing among close friends with first salaries and valentines. One close friend took up an idea of buying us gifts from her first salary! And she has been genuinely selfless about it. It sparked a sense of giving in the gang. We were speaking about it earlier in the day. It got me thinking about being selfless.

I wrote to some close friends and family in the last month. I did not expect a note in return. One doesn't have to write a note to return the love. They would do it in their own way. Aside that, I thought it was a wonderful feeling being selfless.

Right at this moment, the illusion of selfless breaks! I am not being selfless, in my head I am still selfish for their love.

In some twisted indirect way we end up being selfish. I am also referring to selfish for a good cause! You want your family/city/country to be better and that would account for selfishness as well.

As long as it means well I guess :)

“Your conscience is the measure of the honesty of your selfishness. 

Listen to it carefully.” ― Richard Bach

PS: The mother's love however is an exception. I believe its surely selfless!

I've learned

Reblogged from A Learning a day! A lovely note :)


I’ve learned-
that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.

I’ve learned-
that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back.

I’ve learned-
that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

I’ve learned-
that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I’ve learned-
that it’s not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts.

I’ve learned-
that you should never ruin an apology with an excuse.

I’ve learned-
that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better know something.

I’ve learned-
that you shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do.

I’ve learned-
that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I’ve learned-
that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I’ve learned-
that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I’ve learned-
that you can keep going long after you can’t.

I’ve learned-
that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I’ve learned-
that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I’ve learned-
that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I’ve learned-
that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I’ve learned-
that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I’ve learned-
that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I’ve learned-
that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones to help you get back up.

I’ve learned-
that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.

I’ve learned-
that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I’ve learned-
that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

I’ve learned-
that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.

I’ve learned-
that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.

I’ve learned-
that your family won’t always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren’t related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren’t biological.

I’ve learned-
that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you are to learn to forgive yourself.

I’ve learned-
that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.

I’ve learned-
that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I’ve learned-
that a rich person is not the one who has the most, but is one who needs the least.

I’ve learned-
that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.

I’ve learned-
that we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I’ve learned-
that you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I’ve learned-
that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I’ve learned-
that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.

I’ve learned-
that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

I’ve learned-
that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I’ve learned-
that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

I’ve learned-
that it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people’s feelings, and standing up for what you believe.

I’ve learned-
that people will forget what you said, and people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

This is where it starts

I was on the phone with pigs (the darling brother!) last night. We were catching up with the stories on both the ends.

Last week, he went to a KFC outlet with his friends for a snack. For a store with only two tables filled, KFC took too long to get the chicken. They spotted a feedback counter and decided to log in the bad customer service. The manager spotted the bunch of excited teenagers, figured out what they were up to and decided to give them complimentary chicken. Apparently he doubled their order.

Pigs and his friends decided to ditch the feedback form in return for the compliments that were jumping down their throat.

Now, I am a fan of chicken. I am a big fan of KFC chicken. To be sure. To be very sure. Nevertheless, I find it extremely hard to digest the fact that they decided to go back on their feedback. Its a bunch of teenagers showing inclination towards bribery. Acceptance rather in this case.

This is where it starts, sadly. 17 years old and they don't mind free chicken for not reporting. 30 and 40 God knows what they will not mind. The future of India is with these kids.

(Yea and he got an hour of grilling on his and his friends' value system. He swore never to tell me any stories from now..)

I wonder how, I wonder why

I was at clementi mall a while back. I was having lunch with a friend at Burger King. To our right, there was a 70-something couple having their meal. The woman was in a wheel chair and the man was pushing her around. They were eating fries and were sharing a drink with two straws in it.

I haven't seen something so awe and so cute and oh-god in sooo long! It made me wonder if I'd want that if I was ever in a wheel chair. I do. I am guessing almost every other person would too.

And then again I saw this video on facebook. About an excellent singer on X factor. He was a handicapped Iranian by origin, adopted by an Australian Mother. His performance was moving for many reasons. What I noticed was however, the mother - Moira Kelly. She runs Children's First Foundation in Australia. To sum it up - she has changed the lives of many kids and continues to do so.

These two encounters got me thinking about my life and what I want (Yet another time! - I do so much thinking, sometimes I forget to live it :/) Anyway, I was just contemplating. Would I give up having a regular life with a regular family to change people's lives? Can I try and manage both?

I wonder.

Taste of a different world from a different view

It was a wonderful week in terms of the couple of experiences I chanced upon.

Mom and I went to T.nagar to pick up a couple of things we needed. I was looking for chunky traditional earrings. I was scanning the platform shops as we were walking past. This one guy had a very pretty pair of earrings and as I was getting ready to show-off my bargaining skills I noticed this kutti(small) kid standing by the side of the store. The store guy asked him to take put mom’s million-specifications carrying pottu from the sides. He jumped up trying to reach the shelf. So I moved forward o help him. Some thing came upon me to talk to this kid while mom bought some more things. His name was Xavier and he went to a nearby school. 7th grade. The store guy was his mama and he used to accompany him in the evenings when he was bored. It was a very tiny bit of my day, those few seconds of conversation. Nevertheless was heart-warming to know him. I left asking him to do well in studies. It went back to my thoughts on how it would be to read minds, to talk to every person I see, to know what goes on in their minds, to know who they really are. Oh and btw, the store guy was impressed with my little rendezvous and gave us impossibly cool prices. Haha.

I was waiting for dad to pick me up from the office campus. There is an auto stand right there and I was standing next to one of the autos. This auto driver walks up to me from behind and suddenly says ‘amma’. I had taken an auto from this stand once before and he charged me SUCH a humongous price that I naturally took a hatred to the guys at the stand. All my protective, survival, just-scared-like-shit, call-it-whatever-you-want instincts came alive and I replied in a rude, trying-to-hide-that-I-am-guarded tone ‘enna, enna, venum’ (What, what do you want?). HE replies in a kind tone. ‘B.A economics nalla padippa maa?’ (Is B.A Economics a good course?) I however overlooked the tone of this question and my instincts gained strength as my crooked mind told me that he was trying to distract me while some other guy would now come and snatch my abg. So I held my bag closer to body and said ‘Yen, nalla padipu thaan. Ethuku kekaringa’ (Yes, It’s a good course, why do you want to know?). He stared off saying how his daughter has just completed her class twelve and that she scored 55% in her exams. Around this time I dropped all guard and got interested. He belonged to SC category. One of the numerous footprints of India’s ridiculous caste system. A child from the Scheduled Castes category is treated like she doesn’t deserve education. The varied sensibilities of the society fail to see that she has scored that mark without the support of her illiterate parents and the luxury of long hours of practice a regular child get. All right, I can go off track very easily. Coming back to the auto driver. He wanted to educate his girl and a college professor advised him to enrol her in a B.A economics course. Seeing me, he wanted to know what I thought about the idea. And I spoke normally. I asked him what she was interested in studying and told him that he should indeed provide her with education. He wants her to earn enough to be independent. It was nice to see how some people were thinking ahead of their peers and not just stopping the girl child’s education after high school. I prayed she fulfils her father’s dream and her own for all good.

It was the one day before I left for Uni. I chanced upon this NGO, which works with poor kids and enhances their education by providing additional tuitions. They teach art, math, songs and other basic enrichments. I went to meet this bunch of kids in Besant Nagar. Sad old government building from the outside. Exciting with colours and patterns on the inside. Much like the kids themselves. Oh my and were they pretty. There were about 20 of them. All were between the age group of 4 – 11. They greeted me with all the warmth. I had planned a little origami session with them. They huddled in circles around and overwhelmed me with their chants of ‘akka akka akka’. They learnt what I taught them with such passion. A couple were quick in the head and even became my teaching assistants. One or two even knew how to work their way around a laptop. That day, I spotted so much potential in that room. It was an eye-opening evening.

Little one-minute things that made me think. The world can be a better place with more opportunities reaching the less privileged. God gives equal capacity to all man. It’s the process he goes through that makes one a grace and another a disgrace to the society. One day, I wish to provide all the opportunity I can afford to kids like these. That’s enough to help India.