What can I do?

Every time I come back home (Chennai, India) it is an emotional high. I am taken over by the pull family and close ties exercise, the patriotism which puts my thinking into a defensive mode, the restlessness which makes me pause, the ache of living so far away from home and the urge to inspire change.

The past few days have been grueling on any woman's soul in my country. And yes I consciously say woman. I have heard many a harsh word from some men and I have decided to keep them out of my opinion.

There are so many thoughts floating in my head right now. They are bursting to come out and flood the streets. The thoughts of what must have happened when she got caught, how she must have reacted, how they would have forced her and how they would have tortured her is killing me. What was it that those men wanted? What was so important that they had the audacity to torture another human being? A million questions are hitting the walls of my self and asking me to look for answers.

And the most important question of them all, what can I do? A close friend and I were talking about India and what we can do to make things better. We hit upon a realization - mothers are in many ways the sources of wealth for the country. They educate their kids with their every thought, word and action - consciously and unconsciously. If your mother taught you to respect women, you will.

Like how the answer to everything in life almost always lies within, the answer to this problem does as well. We women must teach our family and our kids, respect. We must teach them to be humane.

I ask the women of my country to look on their left and right. Does your father respect women? Does your brother hold his girl friends in regard? Does your family know humanity? If you think not, talk to them. Make this your own problem. Make this your mission. We would never have to cry for another lost daughter. 

Incredulity of flights

We are very close to being able to fly individually as a way of commute. I am surprised we haven't seen instruments to fly as a single traveller (Imagine the jetpacks, that featured in The Jetsons show) what with a century of flying already.

I was on my flight home last night to Chennai, India. It never fails to amaze me - the fact that a huge vehicle that looks like a bird carrying 200 people and their lives in suitcases, travels in the air at 30000 feet across the realm of time.

It is so simple yet so wondrous. Flights that make the man next to me so restless that he can't close his eyes for even a wink of sleep, flights that get the woman to jump with joy when her phone rings as soon as we landed in Chennai, flights that feed the kid's head with innocent questions about fellow passengers and window seats, flights that make an 80 years old couple fly and flights that change lives.

I was in awe for a couple of moments just after take off thinking about all this.

I'll leave you with a great song that immediately comes to mind when I say airplane.

Can willpower be infinite?

I have always believed that will power is a finite source. I have many a times felt this too on a busy day. I would have spent all my mental power on a set of activities and by the time it trickles down to the last set of to-dos what's left is very little.

This article got me thinking though. Isn't calling willpower a finite source a sort of oxymoron? Isn't the point of will power the fact that it can be mustered when we really want it and if we really want it? Aren't you supposed to exercise will power until you achieve what you really want?

I am still thinking though. Is it?

Long Distance Love

I have always fallen in love with far too many postage stamps. When you appeared on my doorstep wearing nothing but a postcard province…no, appeared is the wrong word. Is there a word for sucker-punching someone in the heart? Is there a word for when you’re sitting at the bottom of a roller coaster and you realize that the climb’s coming, that you know what the climb means, that you can already feel the flip in your stomach from the fall before you even moved. Is there a word for that? There should be.

You can only fit so many words in a postcard…only so many in a phone call…only so many into space before you forget that words are sometimes used for things other than filling emptiness.

It’s hard to build a body out of words. I have tried. We have both tried.

Instead of holding your head to my chest, I tell you about the boy who lives downstairs from me; who stays up all night long practicing his drum set. The neighbors have complained. They have busy days tomorrow but he keeps on thumping through the night convinced that practice makes perfect.

Instead of holding my hand, you tell me about a sandwich you made for lunch today; how the pickles fit so perfectly with the lettuce.

Practice does not make perfect. Practice makes permanent.

Repeat the same mistakes over and over and you don’t get any closer to Carnegie Hall, even I know that. Repeat the same mistakes over and over and you don’t get any closer. You never get any closer.

Is there a word for the moment you win tug-of-war? When the weight gives in and all that extra rope comes hurdling towards you; how even though you’ve won, you still wind up with muddy knees and burns on your hands. Is there a word for that? I wish there was.

I would have said it when we were finally together on your couch, neither one of us with anything left to say.

Still now, I send letters into space hoping that some mailman somewhere will track you down and recognize you from the description in my poems. That he will place the stack of them in your hands and tell you, there is a girl that still writes to you… she doesn’t know how not to.

--

An absolutely heart-warming rendition by Sarah Kay. I have no words to explain the simple naive affection she speaks for. It hit a chord.

I am a fan.

Appreciation for a well-oiled machine

A couple of bad food choices all through yesterday has given me a toad throat and killer coughs, all day today. It has resulted in me giving up on working on my to-dos and sticking to my schedule.

I paused to think about how we forget to appreciate the well-oiled machine - all is well until there is a flood, all is well until there is a traffic jam, all is well until bad health comes in the way of work.

We notice things only when they stop being normal - juts like how we notice people only when they start giving problems.

We forget to think about the greatness of smooth running. We forget to think about the number of things that are given - that make the functioning of the day better. 

#1 - Giving back

It is above all my principles, inanimate things and relationships. It is as I see it the purpose of my existence. I have taken many things from nature and society, growing up - I still am. Principle of reciprocity applies everywhere and to this too. Having taken so much and having learnt so much from this planet, it is surely my duty to give back?

I believe so.

Every learning that I learnt so far; Every person that means to me presently; Every thought I ever had; Every deed I ever did; Every skill I ever acquired - they all culminate into this for me. To make one nice package and give it back.

In a few months I will be done with my university. And most probably this is the last of my formal education. Because I can't wait to learn from the real world and from my real mistakes. And in whatever I do, I will imbibe giving back as a part of my journey. Because there is nothing like seeing someone finding you useful; there is nothing like giving a hand to those who need it; there is nothing like sharing and growing together.

With a little bit of my hippie self, a dash of art, a spoon of effectiveness and management, a kilo of community and condiments of thought bubbles (like below) from artists's like Austin Kleon, I hope to make my journey my own unique experience.

To the journey henceforth. 

Project 21

#2 - Mother

I am her. Simply put. 

Mom is always the example to follow and copy. Her habits are mine. I remember going to bed with a book because she would do so. I do so many things today because she taught me to. She is talking parent. She talks through things. She does not hide and seal. I got my candor from her. She is tenacious and committed. She lives for punctuality. She taught me the importance of independence. There have been times when I wondered why she did not come and collect me, instead let me pick myself up. Now I know. She is the Indian version of a proper english mother with her prim habits. 

There was a brief portion in our relationship, when I was not fond of her. My despicable early teenage years when I was atrocious and mostly disagreeable. I would argue with her many times. I have even said mean things. I don't want to apologize for what I was, but I want to apologize for hurting you. 

Those days are thankfully in the past now. I am glad we fight very little these days if not at all. We both are rebels that way. 

I surprise myself when I jump at buying a pretty glass bowl for my cutlery collection, when I deride beauty parlours, when I support natural ways of health and healing, when I prefer a walk to a gym workout, when I enjoy gossiping, when I imitate people, when I displace things in the name of cleaning the house, when I have to have a shower first thing in the morning for a day to be productive, when I can't wear anything that looks dirty, when I condemn (really) young girls with boyfriends and when I fly off the hook for the silliest of things. 

I miss warm silly fights and everything to do with you. I miss hugging you tight and getting lost in it. I miss your food. I miss our random movie sessions. 

You are everything amma.

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#3 - Father

Here is a man I respect for he leads by example.

I remember when he used to teach me maths up until I was 10. Mom was the officer for all subjects except maths. It used to be such a terror to study with him. He was strict and did not like mistakes. He would give me the project list for the day and come back at night to see what I had done. We would go through my workings and I would get my maths fixed. Those days have flown out of the window. We discuss my civil engineering subjects on the surface once in a blue moon but that is all the academics we talk about. 

I love to hear his stories - how he ran away from his secondary school in Trichy because it was too far from home, how thatha (grandfather) employed someone to watch him while he attended class because of that, how he interacted with his family, how he was brought up by a strict man himself, how college canteen food was fun, how his english boss in his first consultancy job spite the Indian in him, how he decided to come back home, how he set up his company in Chennai, how he faced debts and struggles to become his own man and till how he dreams for his family. 

And oh so much more. 

He is the silent parent. He speaks little and he means every word he says. He knows when to let me go and when to hold me tight. He stands for honesty much like thatha. He loves his coffee and driving. He can never say no if you really want it. He taught me to chat-up store owners and vendors. He taught to me take things lightly. He taught me to think about the present and the future and not sit on the past. He taught me to not gossip (I try to limit it to as little as I can, I promise!). He taught me to be funny. He taught me to be independent (as much as he might not like it when I take the concept too seriously). He taught me about believing in people. He taught me respect.

I can't do enough to do justice to any post about him. He has taught me everything I know and means the world to me. I miss the physicality of our warm fuzzy love. 

I love you apeas. Always. 

Project 21

#4 - Sibling

From value lessons to inanimate things that matter to people who mean the world to me. I have come to the last few posts of this project.

This one is about my dear sibling. I have refrained from naming people so far when it came to friends, but this just has to be done. This is about Athiba. (Yes, both of us get a lot about his name being peculiar/unique. As much as I wonder what my parents were thinking, I am glad his name stays in the minds of people due to its character)

A gem of a person to be around. I remember when I was very young, there were days when I hated him and all the attention he got. I despised his closeness to people, his ability to form quick friends and his lack of inhibition to ask for things. He was the naughty kid while I was the chammathu (obedient) kid. Which means I am quiet until asked to speak, I don't disturb people unless prodded to and I don't ask for things (ever).

Today both of us have swapped some of those characters, mutated into each others habits and most importantly learnt from each other. I am not that shy kid anymore, even though that part likes to take a peak once in a while. He is not the naughty kid anymore, even though some of his actions indicate the signs of a rebel living inside him.

I did not realize I would grow to depend on him this much. I did not realize one can love and respect you without asking for those things in return. I did not know one can be there for you exactly when you need him. I did know that one can hear your silence over an electronic line and know exactly what to say (or not). I did know one can make you smile no matter what is wrong in your day. I did not know one can bear my short temper with such knowing. I did not know one can get you so much. I did not know one can love you so much. I did not know once can make you be all these and much more for them in return.

This post ended up sounding like a Facebook photo caption from a hormone infested teen. I think teens are emotion overdosed but they do get a lot of things. They do dive deep into the well of psychology in their 15 year old minds. Haha, never thought I would say this.

Thank you for giving me my brother, God. I can't imagine not knowing him. He has made me proud so many times with his little acts of kindness and care. I know he will make me fat with tyres of uninhibited love for the rest of our lives.

Project 21

#5 - Curiosity

Questioning and analyzing.

Curiosity about the world is an important aspect of my everyday. I need to know why I am doing something and if it is important at all. I want to know why there must be holidays, why we have a 5 day work week, when lizards became domestic pests, why romantic comedies are most girls favourite genre of movies (even when some of us hate to admit it), why laptops can't come with better sound quality, why each of has a preference of colours, why we are different, why are the same and why being intelligent is what everyone wants. 

I used to have a tougher time asking these questions out aloud though. I shrugged at the risk of sounding dumb or naive. Over the years I have gotten better at it. I ask questions when I don't understand something. I say, 'I don't get that' without shame. 

More importantly, I know what it is like to not understand something. I know what it is like when someone else is asking me a question. That learning has been equally important. I know I should be patient and explain it to them if that's what the situation needs. I know that it is okay to not understand. I know that it is wiser to ask questions that not understand. 

Curiosity is the basis of our evolution. It took a while for me to understand the concept of questioning. Soon I hope to learn how to ask the right questions. I am sure that is a huge journey in itself!

Project 21

#6 - Friendships

University is the time friends become family. This post goes out to my closest circle of friends. I could not have made it through these days without you guys.

I used to prefer keeping family and friends separate. But here I learnt to let friends and family overlap. You start to allow substitutions to occur. I go to my friends when mom is not around to hug, when dad is not around to throw a tantrum at and when home is not there to provide spatial comfort.

'If you were close, the closeness never dies'
And then there are those friendships that stand the test of time, geography, relevance and difference. They stand tall. Because the closeness never dies. Because when you care you can never let it go.

I am sure more of these relationships will go through patches in the coming years, but I am ready to fight for them - to give in, to forgive, to forget and to remember.

To lifelong relationships and to growing old together.

Project 21

#7 - Grownup friendships

I used to find it easier to make friends with people older than me, than with people who were as old as me. Over the years I have come to feel thankful for that.

A lot of things amuse me about people who have lived longer. You know how we always become older and think back about what we were like when we were younger? These are the people who are some timesteps ahead of you in that box of thinking. They know exactly what you are going through. It is as if you can see a snap shot of your future in their thoughts. It could be opinions or just the way they think.

'Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.'

It is not just mistakes, its experience itself. There is so much one can learn from the way older people deal with things. It could be the way to do things or the way to not do things. Their maturity (usually under normal circumstances, they are more mature) inspires me.

I can't begin to detail the importance of some grownup friendships in my life so far. Thank you every one of you - for being there, for letting me be foolish, for teaching me lessons in your own way. I will always strive to work our relationship.

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#8 - Relationships

I have had my fair share of infatuations over the years. Details aside, they have all taught me one thing - to never take a person for granted. I wish I had known this way before hormones kicked in. As always life has a way of teaching you lessons.

From believing myself to be a romantic, I have come to see that I am rather pragmatic when it comes to these things. And that has been an important realization.

I have learnt to woman up and put those memories for keepsake-ing. I smile when I think of the innocent, gullible joys of meaningless conversation. I smile in gratitude and shame.

I think it takes a lot to be in a relationship and I hold those who are doing a good job in high respect. It takes courage to be there for someone.

When I believe myself mature enough for this phase of life, I will look forward to taking it up.

Project 21

#9 - Living alone

I have blogged too many times about living alone. Yet, I had to give it a top status on Project 21.

As much as I like to think I was always independent, the reality of that word dawned only after university. I learn to do so many things by myself. I learn to think for myself, I learn to prioritize and I learn to think in ways I have never done before. I see raw character of people - some good, some bad but all new. I see the difficulty in monotony or as I would like to call it - habit. I see the difficulty in holding fort for nobody but myself.

I sometimes think about the possibility of all human lives to be single journeys no matter their martial status. And I contemplate its truth. Once you move out of home and go on, you go on for ever. Maybe childhood is the only phase where you are truly protected. Of course I am not denying the value of family here.

All I know is that I have a taste of what its going to be like. It's not so bad sometimes. Pride and Prejudice, steaming tea and rain outside the window will make this journey worth!

Project 21

#10 - Art

My school made it compulsory for us to take music, dance and art classes as kids. And it's not hard to see what stuck. As a result, mom enrolled me in several art classes and I have had two gurus I am grateful to. Mr Ganesh and Mr Sasikrishnan. I have learnt a lot from both of them and from the way they work.

Art has come to rescue me in times of need. It's one of those things I love to do on an early Sunday morning. I get lost in the monotony of creating strokes and soak up in it. I take a fascination towards colours and that keeps me going. Seeing the colours take form on the canvas, the joy is boundless!

Very recently I have taken to working on women as my subject. It's no wonder to see how many artists have fallen prey for this subject. There is something about learning to depict grace and elegance that intrigues me.

It will always be an important part of my life. It will be the place I go to for consolation and absolute freedom of speech. It will be my atma. I hope to collect a life full of works that will carry my memories in colour and talk my thoughts in form. 

Project 21

#11 - Creating Identity

'What is very obvious to your eyes is not so obvious to the other's eyes' 

It's was an enlightenment when this thought came through. Do watch this lovely video for Derek Sivers' post about the same thought!

I have shot thoughts down telling myself that they were obvious. I have refrained from asking questions in a classroom because I would tell myself that the answer was probably too obvious.

It took time to break from this shell and tell myself that things weren't so obvious as they were to me. And that this was the case with every single human being. That is what differentiates one from other - how we perceive.

And this directly affects how I would create an identity for myself. The things I like doing, the issues I am motivated about, the way I interact, my character, my candor and every thing else makes up an unique package. What I need to do (and I am on) is create a brand for this package - to understand the best place for my skills. And if there is just interest and no skills, the best way to develop these skills.

So I can make what is obvious to me, amazing to the world!

PS: This post is a lot of realizations put together, so I doubt the significance it would make to a reader. Nevertheless it is an important part of how I spend my days. Thinking about my dreams and building the castle one brick at a time - in between tea breaks, books and sleep!

Project 21

#12 - Self developmental books

Appa was a fan of self developmental books in his formative years. I have gotten the chance to glimpse at a few in the book shelf. He never forced them on me but I remember reading his copy of You Can Win by Shiv Khera, as a little girl. I remember enjoying the story snippets in the book.

What began there remained a genre I would consult with occasionally through out school days. I was but a small fan. An older friend pulled me into the wide web of non-fictional books once I started university. It was one of the very first things he inducted me into. And to this day I am grateful for that! 

He is a voracious reader and his interest served proof for what I can get out of this genre. He made me deal cash for failing to complete one book a month. The flame of the deal died out eventually, but the habit stayed. 

I average on one book a month even these days. The thought inspiring learnings have helped shape a lot of my habits and behaviour. While it is impossible to follow everything these books teach you, it is important to understand that's not the goal of reading. The goal is widening your horizon and learning. It makes you ponder more than anything else. It makes you question what you are doing. It makes you question why you are doing it. 

Project 21

#13 - Reckless abandon

'Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon'

I looked up reckless abandon when I first read this. The phrase means - to do something without caring about the consequences.

It truly hit me that day.

Giving without expecting getting. Loving without expecting love. Being there without expecting someone there for you. Even cooking without expecting good taste. They are all very very tough to do.

As human beings we are creatures who expect and who reciprocate. These two concepts are not built on foundations of reckless abandon. It is a great practice nevertheless. I have mustered the courage once in a blue moon to love and give without expecting return. And in those very few times I have practiced this approach, I have received the same reckless abandon from someone else.

It's not hard to see what this change in attitude can bring to this world. I guess we need deeper reasons to stick to it though. Reasons only we can find within ourselves.

Project 21

#14 - Sincerity

If you know me you know I am loyal (only to the causes I believe in of course). A word is a word and I have to keep to it.

Having principles is one thing, keeping to them is another. I made a promise when I left for university - that I would work hard to prove myself worthy. However like a lot of things that I experimented with in the first two years of university, academics was one.

I was always the good kid in school. I did my work on time and studied when I had to. I was not the smartest but I put in a good amount of commitment into my school days. University was the time to let go of that character. I did not study, not even in the last minute. I just did not care. I did not realize what I was letting go off when I decided to neglect academics. All the lovely opportunities NUS offers, flew out of the window without the slightest protest.

I remember telling my friend - 'This is my turn to be careless, how long can I be Ms Goody two shoes?' 
Wrong timing my dear younger self, very wrong timing. You don't realize you are sinking until the water moves through the basement and reaches the first deck. It did in my third year. I looked back at my two years and saw the academically disorganized, non-committal, careless monster I had become. It was time for crisis management.

I took the help of friends and family to be my watchmen. I found sincerity again. I found discipline again. I found commitment again. I found hard work again.

It penetrated into all the facades of my life. Of course.

'How you do anything, is how you do everything'

I have so much more time to do so much more things, productively. The results are slowly but surely showing. I have not reached high performance yet, but I believe I will. Soon enough at least. This time I know I am on the path.

Losing sincerity and finding it again..for good.

Project 21

#15 - Thanking people

It simply creates good vibes. In your senses by feeling grateful, in the receiver's senses for being recognized.

We are socially dependent creatures who love expressing ourselves. In the process of this interaction, one thing we look for is recognition and acceptance. The greatest fear is the fear of rejection by the community isn't it?

It's easy to say everyone is satisfying their duty by doing their part. There have been times when I did the same but felt like getting some assurance by those around me. Yes we know, in the ideal world - we must muster up our self-confidence and do what makes us happy without expecting the world to approve of it. And yes we also know that ideal state is imaginary.

Executing this learning started with thanking random people like shopkeepers and bus drivers. At one point I was ready to thank friends and family. I don't believe in not thanking friends and family, a thank-you makes anyone's day brighter!

I have though what I think is a peculiar problem. What I am yet to do is make eye-contact while thanking people. The percentage of times I make eye-contact is negligible. I wonder why this is a problem - is there a deep psychological issue underlying this behaviour?

Project 21

#16 - Keeping in touch

Keeping in touch is an art.

I was talking about gracing different paths and about letting go, yesterday. I have realized that while we do that it is easy to forget to keep in touch. Today, I recount the importance of keeping in touch. A good friend moved countries for his job and it was from his efforts I slowly picked up the ropes of keeping in touch. We take relationships for granted and lose the closeness over a while coz we were just too busy to keep in touch. Yes there are other reasons for friendships to not last, but we shouldn't overlook this one. 

This has been a huge learning with respect to friends from school. In the first year of university we were talking every other day and a lot of conversations were happening every where. The curve turned down, the circle closed up and slowly dwindled to the closest of friends. 

While situations and outlooks change, a part of the soul and the memories remain. If we were friends once we can always be friends. I believe in so much. It is only a matter of whether you choose to be. It takes a lot of effort and a lot of courage. 

I hope to strive to keep this learning close!

Project 21

#17 - Letting go

A lesson hard learnt.

I have wondered why Amma was reluctant to let me move countries for university. I simply did not understand why it was so hard for her to let me be, to let me go. Its been three years since and we have both gotten better at letting go.

It is not just people I refer to here. It is the act of letting go I talk of. Of things. Of incidents. Of attachments. Of people. As well. I had a tough time letting go of my room at home, watching meaningless television as soon as I woke up, enjoying the terrace breeze, watering plants, spying on neighbours, having food at my beck and call, having private transport, having a brother who is your second hand, the security of home, the support of parents and the variety of family around.

The first things that come to mind are memories around home. Well, that is the biggest thing I have had to let go!

I learnt to let go because that is the way it should be. We all begin our journeys at a place but that is just the beginning. As the days roll by we find different routes and explore our options. More often than not our support systems can't accompany us on these journeys because hey, they are on their own journeys too. You learn to let it go and let it be. If it is meant to be, it will!

'Whisper words of wisdom, let it be, let it be..'

A wonderful song by the best ever band on earth.

Project 21

#18 - Being true to myself

Living alone, you are often left to ponder on your judgements and make decisions by yourself. You are the CEO. The board of directors sometimes extends to close friends. 

In such a setting, I have come to learn the importance of holding ground on my principles. It has been so easy to give in to change and peer pressure. And I think I have given in once or twice. At times like those I try to remember,

'When you lose, don't lose the lesson.'

It has been important to me to hold on to my conscience. The example my parents set for believing in values, is tough to ignore. They inspire it in me to try holding on to my own foundations. And whenever I step out of the line too much, I hear Amma's unerring voice in my head reminding me of what I actually want,

and helping me be true to myself.. 

Project 21

#6 - Learning to be a team mate

My biggest learning from ES2007S(a module at university) was working in teams. I used to be someone who was very comfortable working on a project by myself. I liked to do things my way and it was very tough for me to trust someone else with that. While this technique might provide success when I work on my art, it is an impediment to learning in university.

I had long realized the repercussions of my preference and it was time to learn otherwise. I have worked in teams these past three years of course. While they have taught me the benefits of team work in their own little ways, none of them truly gave me the spirit of working in teams. We would split the work between ourselves and put it all together in the end. Engineering gives you that much freedom.

However in ES2007S right from day one, I was put in teams and forced to work with others. It helped me get out of my shell and understand what team work truly means. I understood the benefits of brainstorming and talking through ideas with my team mates. I saw how each one of us throws an unique light on the subject and how our understanding of the same issue varies.

Initially, I was skeptical of whether my interactions would prove useful. As a result I would give only my reserved opinion and instead listened to what was going on, most of the time. Two group works into the module, I felt the usefulness of listening and was slowly getting ready to share my opinions as well. What was tough with taking criticism, turned into putting the constructive feedback to thought and subsequently action.

I can now say in truth that I believe in team work. I understand the dynamics of it. I understand how respecting everyone's opinions matters and how it can be most useful in coming to a solution. I understand how the foundations of group work lie on strong principles of communication and interaction.

Thank you class, for being most helpful in teaching me a lesson. And thank you Brad, for letting us discover the usefulness of conversation. 

#19 - Kindness in speech

I am blunt and straight forward, I don't walk around the park (usually). This tendency makes me look like a person who is unkind. Someone who does not care for the other party's feelings.

I am working on it. I honestly am. My candor has reduced by huge amounts. I resist my strong urge to argue with anyone who believes in something absolutely atrocious. I resist the urge to give them a piece of my mind. I don't want to enforce my opinion on anyone, these days. My opinion shall be mine and shall guide only my judgement.

While that is one part of the agenda the other is to improve on kindness. I find people who don't give their opinion decidedly to be the people who are good at getting things done (It is a very superficial connection, I have drawn and a very debatable one too). And because of their reservation, these are people who look kind on first look. I can never be that person. If you stick around long enough you'll eventually find these people to be indifferent or nonchalant, though.

I can't be reserved, but I want to be kind. I want to be kinder when I disagree. I want to agreeably disagree. They say it is a great skill if you know how to work it! I want to be able to listen and understand where they come from. I want to show them I care. And I want to tell them what I think. Sounds simple, doesn't it? Try arguing with someone with these things in mind. And you'll see what a challenge it is! I get so carried away in the argument I fail to show my concern (often).

'Panniva anba pesu' 
(Speak with humility and kindness) 

The number of times Amma stresses on this aspect of speech is countless till this day. I am working on it dee, I promise :)

Project 21

#20 - Sacrificing

School never taught me the reality of sacrifice. It was all rosy and sweet smelling. You study three months before board exams. You work really hard these three months and you can get into a good uni. And guess what, I did.

With that image in mind I stepped into uni. Hey, that strategy no longer works. I learnt that the hard way in my first year here. It was uni that taught me sacrifice and put me through all hell to understand the concept. With respect to academics and otherwise.

I like any other girl wish for every good to happen in my day! Slowly but surely I learnt that every thing good does not happen in your life every day. Heh, who am I kidding.

One door will close on you if you want another to open. You ought to choose what you want and you ought to give up on something to get this. Animate or inanimate. Every thing in this world has an opportunity cost. It is how much we want something that matters.

'Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.' 

Project 21

#21 - Forgiving

History holds many an example for the values of forgiving; for the greatness of forgiving.

'Forgiving does not make the person who hurt you feel better, it makes you feel better'

Ever since I learnt the importance of this act I have tried to practice it. It's been tough; but I am getting there. Not everything works the way we wish it to. Not everything works according to Plan A. That's the whole point of having 25 other alphabets.

Why do we need to forgive? It helps get past the issue. Why did this issue arise? There was a gap between expectation and reality. How did this gap get created? There was a difference in the amounts of information known. It's as simple as that. I am amazed at how the difference in information available to different parties can be the cause of many trivial emotions in our everyday. Miscommunication happens. Arguments happen. That does not mean we should get cross with our friends. I wonder how many people we'll be left with if we punish everyone for thinking and wanting different.

I think my biggest take-away has been to take misunderstandings as a lesson. A friend did not agree with what I said? A friend said/did something that hurt in order to protect their interest? I choose to forgive them. Forgive them and tell them you did so because you care for them much more than a simple misunderstanding.

I feel good when I do get past the hard iron bubble of giving in. I feel good when I get past the issue. I feel good that I chose to be the bigger person. For all I know, they forgave me too!

I wish this learning to stay for life. I will strive to work on it.

Project 21

#5 - Oral Presentation

Preparation
Goal - Internalize the material; give three take-aways for the audience to remember
Result - Drew more on story; stressed less on the points

Our research project about Singapore being a 'City of Art' was a topic I very deeply felt about and that gave me a natural push to be motivated about this topic which helped a lot in my preparation. During the delivery itself, I inclined towards the story and set-up the mood for the rest of the presentation.
--

Delivery
Goal - Reduce speed of speech delivery; speak effectively
Result - Succeeded with the speed; could have been more cheerful

As a habit, I tend to speak faster than what one would consider a slower pace. I have been feed-backed on this by my wonderful classmates in my peer teaching session and I took this opportunity to work on my speed. My team members and I had decided to be as formal as we can. That ended up looking grave to the audience and that is my biggest regret of the day. I still hope that the effectiveness of delivery was not compromised on.
--

Use of slides
Goal - Don't use slides as a support for speech but rather to illustrate speech
Result - Succeeded with slides

As for the slides, the HBR article that appeared on my reader feed became an excellent source of information of how I should tone and arrange them. I tried to switch between reality and hope for future as much as I could.
--

In all, I walked out of the room feeling good about my presentation for the day. I really wish that I smiled a little bit though. While I was making eye contact with the audience I kept wondering why everyone was serious. I recollect noticing a trace of smile on Tasha and Brad, occasionally.

This question was a HUGE bubble in my head until Brad popped it and told me how I was extremely serious when I spoke. I understood that it was my death-stare that provoked the seriousness among the audience. Theory of reciprocity eh?

How do we fall in love?

You don’t fall in love like you fall in a hole. You fall like falling through space. It’s like you jump off your own private planet to visit someone else’s planet. And when you get there it all looks different: the flowers, the animals, the colours people wear. It is a big surprise falling in love because you thought you had everything just right on your own planet, and that was true, in a way, but then somebody signalled to you across space and the only way you could visit was to take a giant jump. Away you go, falling into someone else’s orbit and after a while you might decide to pull your two planets together and call it home. And you can bring your dog. Or your cat. Your goldfish, hamster, collection of stones, all your odd socks. (The ones you lost, including the holes, are on the new planet you found.)

And you can bring your friends to visit. And read your favourite stories to each other. And the falling was really the big jump that you had to make to be with someone you don’t want to be without. That’s it.

PS You have to be brave.

- Author Jeanette Winterson answers How do we fall in love? on Big Questions from Little People and Simple Answers from Great Minds

I remember more than one conversation with friends about falling in love! We have wondered what it could be, how it works and why it does. We have had a variety of discussions but no outcome was as creative and as simple as this one. 

Whether true or not, thanks to Brain Pickings for putting a smile on my face this morning! 

Support systems

I challenge you to walk on a parapet wall of a ten storeyed building. Will you do it?

I think majority of the respondents to that question will say no. However these respondents would not mind walking on the roof of the same ten storeyed building.

Think about it! We use up 8 inches across for our feet. Let's give it another 4 inches for assurance. Once we have this one foot of path, we should be willing to take the leap of faith.

My mind started linking this need for assurance to the bigger things in life. We always need a support system to achieve something. A stable ground to be confident off. This support system might be human or animate. It could be friends, family, partners, books, pets, places or memories. The support system gives us a feeling of safety and provides the thrust forward.

Today I feel gratitude for everyone and everything that has been part of my support system. I can't explain the wonders a simple 'What's been up' on gtalk, a 'How are you' on Whatsapp or a phone call has done to my day. If I ever did not show my gratitude (which I am sure I have missed at times) please do pardon my hastiness.

PS: I have resolved to illustrate my posts henceforth! Wonder why I never thought of it before.. Anyway, I have now been inspired by a friend who started doing something similar.

How do you think?

Am I a visual thinker or a auditory thinker?

Source

Am I an individual thinker or a group thinker?

Source

This lifehacker article inspired the 2 questions. The author shares some simple questions she asks when faced with the question. It was illustrative enough for a quick answer and I thought I should share it here!

Do you like to understand processes through images? Or do you prefer to read through material? When you see a new product do you rush to read about it? Or do you like to see how it looks? 

Did you prefer studying alone or with a group in uni? After a long day at work would you like to go back home to some books or catchup with your friends?

I realized it is essential to discover these qualities in order to figure out when we are most productive. I think I am 60/40 between individual thinking and group thinking. I like to munch on the ideas by myself before I can have a discussion about it. That said, ideas always take better form in a group when input was formed by various pairs of eyes and ears. This means I like to think ahead before meetings even if its only for 10 minutes on what he subject is, what I was going to contribute and what I wanted to take-away. 

I think with images. I draw a imaginary thought bubble to people's faces when I need to remember something they said. I like to draw when I think. That means I am most encouraged to perceive an idea when offered to me in images!

Nice discovery on a supposedly long weekend (uni students don't have anything called weekend/ long weekend..) 

Casteism vs Patriotism

I started writing this as a comment and realized it needed to become a post. Thank you Krishna! I love your post. Funnily, I have been pondering about this same question over the past few weeks.

Having a surname that some suppose only tambrahm's should possess, I have been asked the same question too many times. 'Iyer ah'? While I don't understand how Lord Murugan's name supposedly earned certain exclusive rights over the centuries, I also don't understand if caste and such should be important.

Many a conversation has passed with friends about how caste is a big deal in our country. I have a good friend who once talked about marrying a girl only if she was from his same caste. It shocked me, his thinking. At that time I judged it and said 'how narrow-minded'. 

Like Krishna rightly pointed out in her post, I am a proud Indian. Every conversation I have features India and my passion for my country. 

One fine day though, I put two and two together. If it is narrow-minded to be passionate about your caste, what is it to be passionate about your country? Isn't it just an extended form of passion for your roots? I am simply covering more demographics than him.

I don't judge him anymore. I am glad he has his preferences while I have mine too! I think patriotism is just an extended form of narrow-mindedness, if I may. And like Krishna said 'Ellarum maanushya jaati' (Every man is from the human caste)

I am not going to change my view on patriotism. I am not going to give up my Indian passport and declare myself to be a citizen of the world. I am simply going to stop judging patriotism - in any form. 

PS: This post ofcourse does not deal with all the injustice and favouritism that happens in India under the pretension of casteism. Having personal preferences is one thing; perpetuating it is another. 

Nokia phones

I was (and still am) an ardent fan of simplistic-old-fashioned-mobile phones for just one reason.

They work.
Always.

I was reading a news article about how the Nokia shares rose 9% despite their 969m euros quarterly loss and went down a spiral of thoughts on old mobile phones. My dad always used a Nokia phone when mobile phones started entering the Indian market. I cherish the days I used to play Snake on it! And when I was 15, I got my very own Noia phone. Many dear and close-to-heart memories with that phone.

The term good mobile phone has gained new meaning these days. I have spoken to iPhone users, Samsung users and everyone else - any smart phone that lasts one year is a good phone.

The days of buying a mobile phone and keeping it for a couple of years is getting close to non-existence. I have blogged about old phones here before. They are issue-less and they get to the point. They are built with quality and durability. They are trust-worthy. I wonder if and when smart phones will achieve that level of technological development.

Going back to an old fashioned phone. It is something I aspire to do someday. Like all the other things I aspire to do and don't. Like how I want to study 5 hours a day and eat only at meal times and reduce fat in my body and spend more time painting and sleeping.

Dad's first Nokia - It's design is still classy!

My first Nokia - Thanks for a lovely two years you. I miss those days. 

New Music High

I love discovering songs. I am sure you do too!

Just a couple of days back I found the perfect song to lift my moods up and help me focus - It's time by Imagine Dragons.

I don't over do the song. Just one listen when I need it. Like a Panadol before the threat of a fever (Though I must warn you that I don't ever take a Panadol before/during/after a fever because I don't believe in taking medicines for trifles - just a metaphor).

Ofcourse my all time favourite inspiring song is All the right moves by OneRepublic. Listen to it on repeat when you need some thoughtful powerful music!

#4 - Inter-cultural differences and what we can do?

'I don't understand why we are arguing about this. What is happening in India does not concern you in anyway, does it?'

'That's the solution, isn't it? It does not concern us, why bother about it. I need some time alone, I'll see you later Jay..'

'Pri don't be silly..' Priya was already out of the room.

Jess and Priya met two years back at the freshman inauguration ceremony. Jess had made it half hour earlier to the venue being the punctual pedant she was and Priya was 5 minutes late being the nonchalant realist. They were seated next to each other and they started talking. The conversation that day between two opposite characters turned into a friendship built on trust and affection.

-- 

Today they were sitting in Jess’s room when Priya read something out aloud- Religious activists were hunting down unmarried couples in public places in India and forcing them to either marry or declare kinship. These groups violently attacked the public claiming they had lost their culture and were imitating the west. This incident was not the first of its kind. Just a month ago, a mob entered a resort and physically attacked a party that included women. They took the law in their hands and believed that they were bringing India's original culture back into the society by ruthlessly stopping the teenagers from having fun.

Jess for one did not understand why Priya bothered herself with these issues. She did not understand why someone who was so realistic about everything else, let this particular issue affect her. 'I think you worry about this too much. What do you think you can do? They'll find a way to punish the offenders'

It boiled Priya's blood to know of the animosity it was causing in the society. Her parents taught her a lot about religion, culture and values and feet were firm in her principles. However the exposure she got through education and life outside India opened her up for acceptance and appreciation of other belief systems. 'It is not their right to forcefully inflict a said-culture. Culture is up to the person who carries it. Inter-cultural differences can be solved by accepting one another, not through violence. The society needs such broad-mindedness for growth'

She was also mad at Jess for not understanding her place.

-- 

They hadn't spoken for 2 weeks. Jess felt terrible. Priya was never the kind to ignore; she would always come running back even after an argument. So to make up, Jess read up on the issue. She tried to understand why this was important for Priya. She had heard all of her opinions on the matter. She put her writing skills to use and created a blog. One that addressed Intercultural harmony and ways to achieve it through effective communication.

She knocked on Priya's door. 'Hi Pri, before you say anything I have to show you something' She opened up the blog. 'I think you and I should write on this. We can publicize the issue among students and expand from there. Let's do our part by educating people on showing empathy for differences'

Priya hugged Jess. This is why she needed her.

2102012

Today's date is a palindrome!

Ah the minuscule joys of life..

Memory techniques

One ones are one
One twos are two
One threes are three

I am sure you started thinking of the time your primary school math teacher grilled multiplication tables into your head.

I was trying to remember a particular multiplication table the other day. I couldn't do a good job of it. It was 7 tables. And somehow 7 tables never stuck. From then until now. Something else always stuck though. Any guesses?

9 tables. It seemed to make more sense than the others. Apart from that, a grandmother's recipe to get to the table is to open up your ten fingers; have a starting point. I like to keep it on my left most finger - thumb. Start counting from that as one. Now for the technique. If you want to find 7 times 9, you close the 7th finger. The count on the left is the first number of the answer and the count on the right is the last. There you go!

I realized very few people know of/use this method. They just remember. Memory has never been my strongest point. So I have resort to measures like this.

Some others I always rely on are WE for West and East. I had a tough time keeping them in the right place until a teacher suggested I remember it as West and East. WE.

How do you know if a month has 30 or 31 days. Knuckles. Fold your left hand into a fist. Count the knuckles and the depressions for your answer. The knuckle bone is your 31 days and the depression in between two knuckles is 30 days. It even takes into account that July and August have 31 days consecutively.

We had diaries for our school. When you open any page you land in a week. The left page has three days and the right page has four. Even today three years after graduation I refer to that pattern to count days in between dates!

I am glad to have chanced upon these quirks! 

Art, for change

A friend posted Mallika Sarabhai's TED talk on Facebook today. A late saturday morning could not have been more inspiring!

With all the talk about Changing The World, I have often wondered how I can contribute. I have spent hours thinking about my capacities and bringing them to good use. Sarabhai's talk gives a bit of hope. Her innocuous questions about the bigger scheme of things our leaders chalk up and how it affects a basic need of the masses makes you think twice about what we are doing everyday at work.

We can't all drop our lives and take up justice as our motto. That's fair enough. However, what we can do is attribute a part of our schedule towards a cause. Planting a seed is all I ask for. You could write about your opinions on social change, discuss your ideas on the numerous social platforms we are part of, go to an NGO and meet these people who need a helping hand, tell your kids stories about injustice and inspire them to think of the right way, use your talent to make your point. It's just planting a seed in the minds of your kin.

Little drops of water make a mighty ocean. 

Pain

"Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place"

Listening to trees

“When we have learned how to listen to trees, then the brevity and the quickness and the childlike hastiness of our thoughts achieve an incomparable joy.”

-Hermann Hesse

I read this quote a couple of days back and it was sitting on my mind till today morning. How do you listen to trees? What does that feel like?

I was walking along a road that had dense canopy early today. The thought of listening to trees  jumped up and made me curious. Now that I was among these guys, I could try listening. Maybe the ignorance of a defined process is part of the learning. 

I sat among the trees and looked. I switched off the radio on my phone. I took a moment to place myself in the scene. The passage I had read earlier ran through my mind. Highlights of Hesse's words came alive. As they buzzed around I think I realised a tiny bit of what he meant. 

The trees seemed strong and sure. I saw myself agreeing to everything I read. 

Nature has a great way of assuring us, trusting in us and giving us hope. I went through a meditative calmness while I tried to focus on what I saw and heard. 

I felt like I truly lived in the moment those 10 minutes. 

Source for Hesse's words: Brain Pickings

Is extreme pragmatism essential for success?

A wisp of discussion wafted in our Communication class yesterday - about pragmatic people and their successful lives. I have always wondered about pragmatism in its most extensive form.

I have role-models who lead extremely cautious and careful lives. They plan and weigh their every move. They frame a question of essentiality over each problem and choose their options after answering that question. They know how to contain their lust. They know where to put their money. They know how to spend their time. They know whom to talk to. All these scenarios are chosen after answering the question of relevance, significance and importance to them.

I look up to these people in awe. Know that I am referring only to a certain type of people I have personally met and am not judging successful people in general. Sure, there are successful people who live lavish lives.

Jane Austen and Tom Lefroy did not get together. I personally think it was because she refused to be pragmatic. She refused to see the good their union would have done to her. She instead chose to be generous about the man she loved and let him go for what she believed to be the greater good. (They did turn out to be very successful in their separate careers though)

Focusing the light this discussion throws on me - I have analysed my decisions and attitude towards things. I have realised that I am not that realistic. I tend to be more on the side of optimism and hope. I like to believe that it will all turn out to be good. Does that mean I am not realistic?

I tend to work for what I think I want, even if it isn't the most realistic of thoughts. I have been doing quite well with that attitude, so far. However, I pause to think if it is good for my future. I am not going to be under my parents shadow forever. I am not going to stay in university where exams turn up only every 4 months and that's that. I am not going to be in this shell.

I am going to be surprised, pleasantly or nastily. I am stepping into uncertainty like never before. Will being more realistic be my armor against the 'Big Bad World'? Will being more realistic help me become more successful? Should I continue to dream a dream?

I am sure the answer is to find a middle ground. That's always the answer.

Balance.
Between dreams and sense.

I guess I am still trying to understand the extent of pragmatism I must embed into my outlook. I am still trying to figure how exactly I would be one. I am still trying to relate this outlook to success.

Spinning back on to the track

I have been heavy mentally, since last week. Too many issues to sort out. The problem in such a case is that I tend to get stuck on without moving forward.

I wasted last weekend without much progress on my work. As a result an eerie sense of irritation and feeling of dissatisfaction creeps into my mind. These two ghosts fog the head and are enemies of productivity, I have come to realize.

Today is the time I find a way around that. I took a paper and pen and put down my problems. I listed down the simplest possible to-dos for each case. And viola! Its amazing how an activity like that brings clarity to the mind. I know exactly what my worries are. I know the exact path to solving those problems.

It's very easy to get bogged down by the amount of work we have. Breaking things down makes things clearer and cleans the air around possible uncertainty. I am unwinding now for a while, with my favourite pakodas and some sewing to refresh my mind.

Back to list after!

Queueing in MRT Stations!

I was getting into the Kent ridge mrt, when I witnessed something amazing. People were queueing up outside the mrt doors on either side to get in. I was at awe. How does this country make it work?! No really.

If you have read my previous blog posts you are sure to know of my love for the order in this country. How they let it permeate into every strata of the society still impresses me.

Like the men say, 'Some how some way, things just work here'. Even if its just in one station. I am sure it will spread far and wide.

This blog post was waiting in my Evernote from last saturday! To my surprise I saw a post from the Singapore Kindness Movement about these sort of queues in a lot more stations.

Most of us take the MRT on a regular basis. The count of complain among the commuters about crowded stations and hence rude passengers is increasing to no end. An initiative like this is a light at the end of the tunnel. Let LTA work on its transportation management plans. In the meantime, let us try and make the best of the situation.

Way to go, Singapore! Proud :) 

#2 - Growing up and learning values..

My parents were very strict in their upbringing of my brother and me. Going to a school with kids who were freer to do what they wished did not help either. I was at war in the battlefield with my mum literally every other day in high school!

I came back from school one day wanting to go on a trip with a couple of friends. It was an adventure camp organized by a very prestigious institution. It was supposed to be three days of activities and a day of travelling back and forth. I was very keen on going for this trip for two reasons. Firstly, I would get to spend time with my friends and try my hand at some activities. Secondly, it would give me a sound recognition when I applied for colleges the next year!

My parents refused to let me go. They did not provide me with sufficient reasoning for their decision. They simply stated that it would not be the right thing to do at that point in time, when I was in the middle of exams.

With my parents and me being on the two opposite ends of the scale we had to find middle ground. I had to make them understand what that trip meant to me. They had to make me understand what their concern was. The situation needed some empathy.

That day we argued and I ended up getting impatient with them. I was not getting things my way and they were able to make me listen to them. They agreed to let me go half-heartedly after I threw a tantrum. The situation was ugly and we ended up hurting each other – simply because we did not express ourselves effectively.

I could have listed down my pros and cons. They could have brought up their concerns and dealt with them one by one. Do you think that would have been effective? What could we have done differently?

(Edited / 11 September 2012)

Why the Bill Clinton Speech worked for me

It was strong, passionate, effective and well-said. His charisma took off from the very first word he uttered. Rather from when he stepped on the stage. He spoke like he meant what he said. He made you believe what he wants you to believe in. He commanded your attention. He was firm.

He just made it work.

I am asking myself, 'How did he do it?'.

Not to mention, his delivery was the highlight of the speech. He supported his facts with numbers. He brought up issues which is the beef to the people of America. He served his argument on a sketch that common man can understand.

The energy in the arena was amazing! It lifted my spirits up so high - given that I am not an American, I have never heard Clinton at a DNC before and I am watching this on record.

I could not help but think about Indian politicians as I was cheering on along with the crowd. I have rarely seen such passion backed up with believable evidence. I have rarely seen such energy and passion.

I understand very little about the American political scene. That said, I do know one thing. This man can inspire. And right now, I just want to be sold.

It was pure magic. I hope to be able to deliver to an audience like this one day! I hope to be able to inspire and take people into my confidence like this man did today.

It was 45 minutes well spent! I think you should too. If not for anything else, just to see greatness!

Bringing a scintilla of unique touch to your customer

I have often spent my evenings wondering what I will do for a living and how I will do it. What will I sell? What will I create? How can I make my ideas different? How do I get to people?

How do I flatter my customer?

With a personal touch. 

I know I want to be in a business around the design of things.

Art, Clothes, Jewels, Things.

In those evenings I think about how I would innovate to stand out. Art, Clothes, Jewels and Things are too wide and too old. People have been selling these things and the design around these things ever since the idea of business and selling dawned on humans.

I read a HBR article that gave a wonderful spark of idea. The author focuses his arguments on one target. To serve people with a personal touch. To make people feel like it was created for them.

You can get treatment like that with a Chanel Limited Edition bag. However Chanel is Chanel. It's not for everybody.

That's where I can see an interesting challenge - How can I provide this experience to every Jane?

I am loving this spark of thought! The challenge is being creative in modifying your idea to suit a specific need.

Do read the article here and try to apply 'bringing a personal touch' experience to your idea! I'll be thinking in the mean time..

#1 - Effective communication to me is..

So that's the first topic for ES2007S.

Early man felt incomplete without a means to communicate to the next person. That’s how language came into existence. In the early days, the next person was probably literally the next person - his family, his tribe. In today's sense the definition of next person is over a large set - your friends from social networks, your peers, your family, your partner and the list can go on.

The human network in everyday life is huge. On an average one talks to about 15-20 people in a day - it is inevitable in the connected world of today. I talk because I want to tell someone what I think, to help someone, to get assistance from someone, to make friends, to help others perceive me, to make others like me.

Whatever the motivation for communication, am I doing it right? I have had times when the person I was in conversation with did not understand me. That demeans the point of communication. What I would love to work towards is bringing the occurrence of these situations to an absolute zero.

To answer the question, effective communication to me is when I make the person see the world through my eyes.

It is interesting to also extend the effectiveness to community oriented communication. I like to think it is truly effective when the communication makes an impact on the receiver.

Well-chosen words.
Complimenting body language.
A purpose.

Effective Communication.

(Edited / 27 August 2012)

Introductions

I have taken up ES2007S - Professional Communication. It is a module that came with strong recommendations from two close friends. I found this semester to be very apt for going for it!

As part of the module we are expected to blog once in two weeks about ideas around communication skills! I thought I might as well continue to blog here. For the new comers from my ES2007S class, hello! Treat this as my first post towards this module.

As for the introductions, I have met most of you already I guess. I am Dhanya, a civil engineering student in my final year. I love anything to do with design and art. I believe it is my mission in life to make the world more colourful, make people more happy and thereby make it a better place to live in.

How exactly do I plan to do it? I will continue to paint and spread some joy. I will teach kids some art and bring questions to their attention. I will design for a the rest of my life. That's the plan for now atleast!

How does engineering fit into this plan? I believe getting trained in engineering is getting trained to think in a certain way. To be more specific, in a certain analytical way. Analytical and Logical. So far so good, I like to think.

Apart from that please read some posts here if you have the time to spare. You might just learn more about me!

Looking forward to an exciting semester guys. I am sure we can learn to overcome our inhibitions - if any and learn to communicate more effectively to the world!

P.James Magic Show

'The weirdest things make you miss home'

A close photographer friend had posted this photo a few months back. If you are from Chennai, you know what this photo means! 

The photo popped up on my Facebook feed and reminded me of home. For the others who are wondering why a dirty wall is up here, the subject is the writing on this wall - 'P.James Magic Show'.

This P James dude, whoever he is has written these exact same things on so many compound walls in Chennai City, you could not have missed it! 

I would like to think of him as the pioneer of publicity by spamming in Chennai. Soon the politicians took lead and pasted their victorious smile bearing faces on all surfaces visible. Now it is harder then before to spot P. James's Ad on the streets in all the hala-bula our leaders have created. 

Well what can I say, he introduced the idea to us. 

One can tell so many things about him from this Ad. He most probably kept a very small budget for publicity. A couple of cans of black paint, one or two men to paint the 'magic' characters. That's about it. Publicity taken care of.

It tells you so much about his Magic Show. Sort of symbolizes the beauty of all things - magic and others, doesn't it.  

Simple, yet strong in its purpose!

A lesson from P. James. I will try to get you hired one day though! For all the joy you have given when I spot an ad, for being one of the plain symbols of Chennai. 

Travelling back and forth

I have taken a couple of transportation modules this semester. Interesting prof who loves entertaining us with his stories. There's something about stories that makes one inquisitive. Same reason why we love gossip and Hollywood and Facebook. We like hearing of 'your' day and 'your' life.

Same reason we love travelling and reading books. We like to find out what we don't know. We like something new. I don't think anywhere except Cranford refused to embrace industrial revolution. Even the people of Cranford gave in at the end anyway.

My prof told us that when we take a form of public transport in Singapore, there are atleast ten people who take the exact same route with us. This means when you have a regular route you take, you would recognize some faces on the way! They are not stalking you, they are just going to the same place as you.

How would it be to know these people? Their stories? How would it be to find out their dreams?

Maybe you share a lot more than a ride in common.

Have you ever met a friend of a friend, spoken about your mutual friend and went 'The world's a small place!'?

I bet you have! That is what we have achieved today with travelling. A web of people who know more of each other, who share more. The potential this tool holds seems very powerful looking ahead! 

Patriotism and Campooter Scanning

It's been 65 years of independence for India. 1947 this day that year, people tasted freedom for the first time in 200-300 odd years. It meant a lot to the India then, being their own nation. We have a long way to go in terms of development. We have a lot of behaviour issues. Like that of a child that's been given too much attention. Yet we are proud to say it is us (or a couple hundred politicians) who decide our own fate. We are a proud democratic family.

I was walking to an admin office in my university looking to submit my loan documents. If it went well, if they took my papers to be clean - it would be my independence day. I wouldn't need dad to pay anything for my final year at college. Having a bunch of friends who are on scholarship and hence being on their own, makes you insecure. Especially when 'you' is me. Being independent is what I consider as the first step towards my self satisfaction. The daughter of a man who is proud of having built his life/business without his dad's help. The daughter of a woman who lost her father at an young age and hence made a lot of critical decisions by herself. It's not very surprising I turned out this way, much to my mother's annoyance though.

Life has a funny way of twisting things you want and playing around with it - dragging your leg a bit, making you think its not what you want and then a while later giving that same thing to you (sometimes).

So while I was thinking how cool it would be to get my loan fixed the same day as India's Independence day, life decides to make a point. To make its stand and say it is the deciding authority of a typical day's coolness - not me.

The woman sitting at the counter looked at my papers and looked at my face. She pauses for two seconds before she continues.

'Where is the passport copy of your guarantor?'

'I need it? I did not know that'

'Yes that and yours as well'

'Oh alright I'll..'

She jumps into my sentence silencing my voice. Like the way water hushes frying onions in a pan.

'Do they have a computer there? Do they know how to use it and scan a passport? Ask them to do that and you can print it here'

She offers her smart campooter usage advice.

My alter-ego just could not take it. Like Rose's bike rider alter-ego chick with wild condescending hair. (Such a perfect alter-ego image, btw)

'Hey *** firstly India is not in the 1400s and secondly, you need a scanner not a computer to scan'

I didn't say anything obviously. I just looked at her, grabbed my papers and completed my sentence.

'..I'll get it tomorrow'

I was raged. It was a very small instance. She probably meant it all in good will. Indian national girl looking to submit loan documents. Must be very poor. Her country is pretty poor and illiterate as well. Let me help her out and give her the most efficient way to send a file over.

I apologize for what some may interpret as false pride. I can't appreciate her kindness. It was judgemental and unnecessary. I might be exaggerating but it is what I truly feel.

Times like these fuel the fire within to inspire change in India. Little gestures like this make me think about my selfishness in having left the country.

We'll make it happen. We'll get there. Every dog has its day.

In the mean time, I have a request to friends and family. Don't destroy the image the world has of your country with your own words. I know a girl who goes around telling her international friends that Indian girls get married when they touch 14. If you really do have to share interesting facts, atleast try putting them under the heritage/culture light. I would be gracious and spared from 'So are you married?' questions.

Happy Independence day folks!

Let's begin at our own homes :) Hope it made you think, about your patriotism for your country!