Fear & decisions

A really wise stranger (well, I guess I can say friend) said this when I was looking for relationship advice:

look for fear

the fear of being left behind, or alone, or missing someone

the fear of being trapped, of giving up freedom, of losing choices

different fears are hard to conjoin, but are worth talking about

What is the basis of your decision? What kind of fear? 

Before you reject this idea, think about it. 

Fear of failure motivates most of us to keep plugging away. Fear of loneliness, having experienced it, makes us choose the people we want to share time with. Fear of loss keeps some parents from letting their children go too far. Fear of rape plays a huge role in the kind of jobs women choose, in many parts of the world. Singapore is a nation that has built excellent safety standards for civilians based on fear driven law. 

And then there is the other side. 

Fearless want of success provides the same. Fearless love is the foundation of healthy relationships. Fearless parents teach confidence to their kids. Fearless career decisions take women to amazing heights. Maybe Japan is an example of a nation that has amazing safety standards for its civilians because people just keep at their purpose in life. (I need validation on this assumption about Japan!)

So what do you pick? Fear? Fearless? 

Both work well! But consciously find what works for you! 

Racing to the top, racing to the bottom

How do you do something (anything)?

Do you immerse yourself and get your hands dirty? Do you speak about and think about it all the time? Do you work for it, with intent? Do you put in everything, and leave it to fate to come back to you?

Or do you always keep one foot out? Do you do everything you can do, but not everything you want to?

Do you race to the top?
Or do you race to the bottom?

The difference is always clear as a crystal to oneself.
Try intent today! I sure will.

Inspired by Seth Godin's post today.

Dealing with a crisis

I've been going through a personal crisis of sorts and it's taking a toll on the energy left for everything else. 

1 week later as I have painfully realized, here is a list of things you should (must) do when you are going through the same: 

1) Practice patience - this too shall pass. Time will heal. While you wait and sleep on actions, things miraculously change. You feel much better in the morning after a good nights sleep! 

2) Stay positive - this mind of yours is amazingly powerful. It can simulate the worst and the best scenarios, all equally sneaky in messing with your head. Remember to keep the mind in check.

(Don't let your mind think like these veggies) 

3) Expect the worst and the best - I find this technique quite useful if you have a creative mind. Imagine the best and the worst case scenario. Once you do that, you will face the reality of the issue at hand. You will realize that it's all not such a big deal! 

4) Feel lucky and take care of yourself - I can't stress enough on this on. Imagine the best case working out and go to bed, eat healthy and stay away from binge eating (alcohol too), put on your best clothes and your best look and put a smile on your face. 

5) Find your relax routine - mine is stripping my clothes after a long work day, throwing on an old t-shirt, grabbing home cooked dinner with a cold fruit juice, and watching things that make me laugh (kutti chutties, John Oliver, and Tamil movie comedies).

6) Reach out - The most important step of the process - form a board of directors and reach out to them. Meet them, talk to them, and just spend time with them. Your board of directors are typically people who can understand that you are going through something real, are positive, are sensible, and are willing to be there for you. (I have the most amazing board of directors. You know who you are - I am immensely lucky to have you guys)

I am doing every one of these 6 things and I promise you that I feel so much more in control. The crisis is not really one - it can and will be solved. The emotions are not permanent - they can and will transform. 

Life always does! Hold on tight, you're amazing :* 

(Feel free to reach out to me, if you think I can be useful as your crisis board member)