It can't be a collection of whatevers

If you're a regular here, you know how much of a slave I am for sincere conversation. Me and two other girl friends were indulging in one, a couple of nights back. We spoke about our lives, our mothers, our dreams, our lessons and our prejudices.

The most important thing that stood out from that night for me, was this - Days can't be collections of whatevers. "For one who does not know to which harbour to sail to, every wind is unfavourable!" Of course we don't know if that is the final destination, but at any point in time we must work towards something.

Yes, process matters at the end of the day. And even that process is directed at a goal! Days are too short to be taken as they come. What is the joy if there isn't a challenge or a struggle or a fight?

I have often anticipated pangs of joy or guilt, if something was to go right or wrong. But every single time, I have been disappointed with my emotions. I have never felt as happy as I thought I'd feel. I have never felt as sad as I thought I'd feel. The process pretty much determines the magnitude of importance of a particular experience. It is in this process, where lies the challenge. And that is why I can't just let it be and that is why I need to keep pushing my game up. 

Should we take a break from technology once in a while?

I was with a bunch of friends earlier today morning, returning from a friend's (new) home. It's Chinese New Year in this part of the world, and almost everyone is taking off to spend time home, with family and friends. Shops are closed, buses are more empty, people are dressed in red, kids are happy to hold their parents hands on a monday morning, aunties are visiting their sweetheart temples, and families are meeting.

Yet, people like us who are away from families and who don't really celebrate the new year, need to be fed. We scampered to get breakfast at a mall and by the time we were done, I was impatient to leave for home. In an impulse, assuming my friends will join me I walked towards the MRT. I even got on the train before looking back to see if they were behind.

That's when I realized they were not around, and interestingly, my phone was out of charge. I could not tell them I was gone. This absence of technology put me in stress for a good 2 minutes. Thankfully, I asked two friendly parents for help, on the MRT, and texted one of my friends. Like the guy nicely put it, "I was feeling like a fugitive" till they were kind enough to let me use their phone. Later, I made conversation with an aunty looking chic in her red dress. She even welcomed me to come back to Singapore, if India was not doing so well in the future.

I was so happy that I made random conversations with people. Normally, I would have been texting or playing SuDoKu - keeping to myself.

My grandfather would make conversation on public transport always. Who even does that anymore? For all you know, you might come off as weird, if you try anything like that. The general buzz in the air this weekend, and this morning especially, makes me think of the real-person-time we spend.

Yes, "There is another person on another train on the other end of the phone", like a friend put it. Yet, I am tempted to imagine a distraction less life. I want to try shutting out technology for an hour atleast every day; instead, spend it with a person. And, make a habit out of it. Let's see!

Burning bridges

I had a very insightful conversation with older and wiser friends yesterday. It got me thinking about relationships and what we do in order to keep them.

I have had a bad history of relationships in my childhood. I am not that kid who is still friends with her first standard class mate. People change, you change, things change. That said I think I learnt a valuable lesson of keeping relationships when I went through a major break up when I was 14. (Sounds extremely silly in retrospect, but that is the point of this post in a way. To value relationships for what they are, when they are!)

Since that drama between 14 year old girls who did not know what they were doing, I have strived harder to be there for someone, to take help from someone, and to keep a relationship with someone.

"Don't let a little dispute, injure a great relationship", goes a buddhist saying.

Burning bridges might not be the best solution at hand. Forgive and forget. If you feel your space has been violated, you don't need to make it up, but you can let it be. Nothing good ever comes out of cutting someone completely out our lives. In this world full of 7 billion people, think of the number of relationships we get to keep. A tiny meagre number.

I have tried burning the bridge and staying reachable. I can say with my heart on a plate that the second technique makes me a happier person. What else are we here for anyway?

Today, it is a reminder to myself; to keep forgiving and forgetting; to keep the path boulder-free. I will be at the other end of the stick and I would need the same treatment from someone. A chance!

Thanks to some wonderful and not-so-kind people I have met over all these years. Every one of you has given me love and lessons.