(Almost) Mutiny of pencil warriors

I met with a friend yesterday. We were talking about all things great and small and then I happened to notice his pencils.

Or maybe I should call them pens?

I am not exactly sure. They look like pencils. When it comes to putting them to use we treat them as pens. So technically, they are pens right? And then again it depends on what purpose they are meant for.

If they were meant to be in a photo or just stay in a shelf, they do a very good job as pencils. And when I want to write with them they double up as something else, something entirely different.

I felt so much for the poor pencils (Sorry, I feel like calling them pencils). SO much for their identity crisis.

And then I stopped feeling bad. I realised that you and me are going through that everyday. Someone inside, someone else outside. If not different inside and outside, we end up showing different parts of ourself and our personality to different people/at different places. Its hardly ever the full package right?

The pencils are not going through any crisis. The pencils are normal. They fit in this world. They fit with you. They fit with me. They are happy-smart-little pencils who know how this world works.

I don't need to stress my head over the (supposed) injustice brought to these men! I don't need to plan a mutiny for the pencil warriors.

Hungry Stones

I went for a friend's dance performance last friday! Hungry Stones, by Raka Maitra with NUS Indian Dance. It was a lovely night! The dance was evolved from Odissi in a contemporary way I presume.

Like the title suggests its about hungry stones. The house music was welcoming - reminding me of the deep culture of India! It was a good start. The installation was neat and interesting. A pot of water up-stage and water was dripping from the ceiling into the pot. The performers appeared in a while as silent as the walls and slowly moved into the stage, to an increasing beat. Graceful movements created a classy atmosphere.

The dance went on to show different stories of a long-gone century. Passionate lovers, cheerful maidens sharing their little stories and them viewing a glimpse of reality. It was an emotionally powerful performance in my opinion.

There were bits when I could not figure out what they were conveying specifically. The performers' melodramatic expressions made up for this and the general feeling was revealed! The light and sound complimented everything else.

And like I said before, it was a lovely night! I left the show thinking about how inanimate things know so much about our lives. How they are taking in all the stories and keeping them hidden inside. Stones must know a great deal. Stones must be having souls.

Sun rays and black tea

I love early mornings! Its the most pleasant time of the day. The sun starts taking a peek and floods my room with yellow. The sweeper is meticulously brushing leaves off the green grass. The brushing is almost a tune to the ear.

The dew on the grass is fresh. And the smell wafts through the air and in through the windows. A plain screen in front of me. And a cup of black tea by the side. Everything is in the perfect state!

Its a lovely time to think about the rest of the day; to make notes; to take some calm from outside to within; to think; to stretch; to read; to just be. I am beginning to love these early mornings. They are a pleasure to the soul.

Try it. Just one day. Go to bed early. Have sufficient sleep. Ask your mind to wake you up at dawn and go to bed. Wake up and breathe.

Wake up and do what you like the most.

Wake up and just be.

Farewell, 'confused'

I have a blog description under the title endangered. Up there, yes! I made a list of the glorious things that get me excited. Right now its the perfect way it should be.

Just a day before if you had noticed it also said confused. My blogger name was also concusfused. I was inspired by that idea for a while. I thought the confusion in me portrayed some part of me that dint know what was going on. Just yesterday though I realised something. No one knows whats going on.

We all know where we want to head. We know what we want to do in life. Some of us know exactly how we should get there. Some more of us are already doing what they want to! And me, I am dreaming up that life. I know exactly the way it should be. I am preparing with the little things that will lead up to that life. It is going just the way it should be!

Sure, I do not know what life has in store for me. However, I know what I will demand of it. I know what will make me happy!

And while this chain of thought goes elsewhere I should to stop to say, I am actually not confused anymore. Atleast not confused about my place.

Why then should the exquisite list of things that describe my life carry confused? Yes, so its out. Over and done with!

This is where it starts

I was on the phone with pigs (the darling brother!) last night. We were catching up with the stories on both the ends.

Last week, he went to a KFC outlet with his friends for a snack. For a store with only two tables filled, KFC took too long to get the chicken. They spotted a feedback counter and decided to log in the bad customer service. The manager spotted the bunch of excited teenagers, figured out what they were up to and decided to give them complimentary chicken. Apparently he doubled their order.

Pigs and his friends decided to ditch the feedback form in return for the compliments that were jumping down their throat.

Now, I am a fan of chicken. I am a big fan of KFC chicken. To be sure. To be very sure. Nevertheless, I find it extremely hard to digest the fact that they decided to go back on their feedback. Its a bunch of teenagers showing inclination towards bribery. Acceptance rather in this case.

This is where it starts, sadly. 17 years old and they don't mind free chicken for not reporting. 30 and 40 God knows what they will not mind. The future of India is with these kids.

(Yea and he got an hour of grilling on his and his friends' value system. He swore never to tell me any stories from now..)

The hippies

I am listening to The Dewarists.

They resemble the hippies to me. A bunch of talented professionals from various strata of the music world come together in Indian cities and create awesome mind blowing compositions. Its interesting how we can create beautiful things from disconnected worlds. A deep lesson if you ask me!

One of my favourite songs Maaya by Indian Ocean and Mohit Chauhan

Love

You only lose what you love - and you often love what you lose.

I read this on a friend's facebook. Very beautiful and very deep I thought. I am going to just speak for myself. I always seem to be running away from what I love. I probably took the old Tamil saying a tad too serious. 'Dushtanai kandaal dhoora vilaghu' (read 'When you see an enemy, stay away from him'). Enemy is analogical to a lot of things. Be it choosing my course, parents or boys. 

So, how do you draw the line between loving and losing? I havnt figured out the answer, but I'll be sure to tell you when I do. 

The old man at the park

There is a hill behind one of the university accommodations. Atop the hill is a park. Quite small. Couple of benches, variety of greenery and an excellent view.

My mother was visiting me and a cousin took her to this park, while they were waiting for me to finish class. Firstly, she was at awe at the entire country(city?), it being her first time in Singapore. She wondered how they managed to keep everything so neat, ordered and pretty. She did ofcourse make remarks on the artificial-ness of the affair. She awed at the people and their sincerity in the little exchanges she handled. 

They drove to the park in the evening. Around 4 o clock. It was quite empty. Except for just another vehicle. They did not even manage to find any people. While they were enjoying the view up there, my mother noticed a park cleaner. He was raking away, doing his job in singularity. Forget that it was a windy day and most of his work was recursive. 

When she recollected this observation I wondered. I wished I could be committed to my work EVERY single day no matter what the circumstances were. He must have found his drive. I am still looking for mine! 

I wonder how, I wonder why

I was at clementi mall a while back. I was having lunch with a friend at Burger King. To our right, there was a 70-something couple having their meal. The woman was in a wheel chair and the man was pushing her around. They were eating fries and were sharing a drink with two straws in it.

I haven't seen something so awe and so cute and oh-god in sooo long! It made me wonder if I'd want that if I was ever in a wheel chair. I do. I am guessing almost every other person would too.

And then again I saw this video on facebook. About an excellent singer on X factor. He was a handicapped Iranian by origin, adopted by an Australian Mother. His performance was moving for many reasons. What I noticed was however, the mother - Moira Kelly. She runs Children's First Foundation in Australia. To sum it up - she has changed the lives of many kids and continues to do so.

These two encounters got me thinking about my life and what I want (Yet another time! - I do so much thinking, sometimes I forget to live it :/) Anyway, I was just contemplating. Would I give up having a regular life with a regular family to change people's lives? Can I try and manage both?

I wonder.

Why should I?

I have been noticing this habit among people around me. So whenever there is a lot of talking/discussion going on, there is always one or two people constantly saying 'Chill man'. I dont get it. Honestly I dont.

Why should I? What exactly is the motive of the person who says it? I havent figured this one out yet. Its putting off, really. If I want to be excited about something. I choose to be. Why would you try and shut me up? Occasionally my mom has also used it. I see it around a lot. A LOT.

Wouldn't it be much simpler if you choose to be delighted in the persons excitement. Or if it is bothering you so much, just ignore the person. Let them dwell in their own bubble. After all its a bubble, it ought to burst sometime.

I think it takes a bigger person to be able to do this.

Procrastination can actually be good?!

Theory of Structured Procrastination!


So what you need to do is:
1. Make a list of tasks that you need to accomplish. 
2. Arrange them from most important to least important. 
3. Then, procrastinate doing something that is higher on the list by doing something lower on the list.
How simple! This way, we would do the least important thing, procrastinating the most important thing the whole time. Getting all the work done, yet being a procrastinator. I think it would fool the mind. Trying right away!


Interestingly, this is not the first time this concept came about: Robert Benchley used this principle in 1940,   “The secret of my incredible energy and efficiency in getting work done is a simple one. I have based it very deliberately on a well-known psychological principle and have refined it so that it is now almost too refined. I shall have to begin coarsening it up again pretty soon. The psychological principle is this: anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn’t the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment."  from “How to Get Things Done” (1940)

The source article is here!

Why?

I came across Indu Antony's work today. About destitute women and the mentally ill in a home in Bangalore. Heart wrenching.

Why is the world so cruel to people who are not capable? Does the 'survival of the fittest' theory have to be so harsh? Can not a not-so-fit person make it out in this world? What describes 'fittest'? What is the point of life? Most importantly, what can 'I' do to change this?

I have many questions. And not a semblance of answer.
Like Kanta, all I can ask and keep thinking is 'Why'.