F(o)rum

I sat in the Forum after a very long time. I always love the breeze in this place. And its pretty lively also.

Unfortunately, some other people have started loving this place. I found the forum to be infested with people wanting you to fill-up forms and surveys for them, ones trying to sell you cookies and doughnuts, ones trying to raise money for youth projects and some others selling t-shirts. I don't think I'll sit here ever again on weekdays.

I have to say, I love the perseverance even after 8/10 reject them. Something to learn.

'Yappa Yatsu'

This one makes sense only to people who heard me say it. 'Yappa Yatsu'. A friend of mine has a close chinese friend who named him Yatsu. I am not even sure if I am pronouncing it right. But this name sounds imperatively funny to a Tamilian like me. I imagine this picture. My thatha (grandfather) sitting on his porch and telling his workers to go and check out the fields. And he says 'Yappa Yatsu, vayalla ellam suthama iruka pa?".

I HAVE to call my brother in the morning and let him know of this. 'Yappa Yatsu'.

PS: From the weird-and-crazy-at-night me. :)

Denigration

I hosted a Bharatanatyam show last week.

SO fancy right? Actually I did nothing. I talked for like ten minutes during the entire one hour show. It was a very successful show! We almost made it to a full house. Okay, enough of random facts.

I was wearing a saree for the show. I LOVE sarees, I LOVE dressing up. In fact, I want to make a career out of this louwe. So another opportunity for doing the same, excited me! I got dressed for the day and like any other girl would, I looked graceful in it. Many paid compliments, very small lovely ones. It felt nice, I smiled my usual smile in return. While this consisted of one kind of people, there were others, who came up to me and said things which were injected with a dash of insult in them. I smiled my fake smile, in return.

It got me thinking. Why do the second kind do what they do. What prompts them to do so. Are they so horrible that they want to come up to the person and make them feel bad. If they did feel that I looked bad, why bother taking the pains to come up to me and tell me so. Why not let me live in my bubble. The only feasible explanation is that they are malign.

These are usually the people who are the criticizers in a company. These souls love to come there and talk about the negative aspects of an idea, and how the idea would fail. Well, good in a way. They can criticize so effectively that the boss can make a decision!

Pretty random lah

I took an A2 to go to the engineering faculty, yesterday. I like taking the seat behind the driver. Simply because its easy to get out! Also, in the new buses you usually get to sit alone in that seat unless some really pushy girl comes and clings on to the rest of the space. And it was my lucky day yesterday. Just after me an old man got in. I have seen him before in engin. Really thin, carries a sling bag, and is almost always dreamy. 

This guy sat in the seat left to mine. He kept hand-signaling to people standing in the bus stops, asking them to wait. All those people were taken by a surprise and kept staring back at him. After three bus stop routines, I realized what he was doing. He meant to tell them that the bus was goign to stop for them and they should wait. Haha, a very obvious fact. Ofcourse the bus was going to stop. But in his very own mind, he was doing the people who were waiting a favour. He was assuring them that the bus would stop.

He kept himself occupied through out the journey by doing this. Made me jump into a thought-well about old age, how we and our actions might seem meaningless to the outside world, how i would look when I got old (this one is pretty annoying even though I have not given it much thought). And then it went on to a million other things. I'll probably find another day for that. 

How Rajni has become a fetish..

I was always (and still continue to do so) a Rajni fan. I love his screen presence, his style, his charisma, his ability to make anything he does awesome, his walk and his accent. He has amazed me from the day I have come to know him and recognize him. This being said, I dont worship him. I. Just. Simply. Dont. (dot)

Ah, and now coming to the hot subject of the day. I watched the preview show of Enthiraan here, much to the envy of a lot of thalaivar fans back home. The preparations from my part for the release were not anything great. I chose a decent picture of Rajni, in his Enthiraan-do. Me and a friend decided to put that picture up till we watched the movie. Thats all. And the day arrived! The movie was good, yes it was. But what I say is that, it was not Rajni's movie. It was Shankar's movie. It had effects, it had awesome costumes, a good cast, all kinds of technologies and a good picture. What I missed was Rajni's awesomeness, his usual stuff. He just dint come there and amaze me, except for like 10 minutes in the entire movie.

This is my opinion. And if you know Rajni, then you know the kind of attention I created by giving this out aloud. The crowd has given Rajni a cult status. You say you like him, then you say his movies were awesome. No matter what the truth stands to be. He has been idolized into a success frame. And like herd movements, everyone has decided to accept that. A whim has been taken that they will support his movie, against all odds.

Come to think of it, its nice and entertaining to argue with the truth-seekers that this movie was awesome. I tried. When the movie began, I was ready to hoot for his awesomeness. Disappointed as I was as the movie progressed, I still chose to pick a few moments and do the same. I tried to tell myself that the movie was good after it finished. I thought, I like Shankar, I LOVE Rajni, I LOVE Rahman(Oh, and dont even get me started on the songs in the movie. What WAS he thinking! :O). When I love all these people, why could I just not be fine - normal and like the movie. But no, like I said, It was not a Rajni movie.

Have to get those extra kilos off..

I have recently signed an agreement with a friend, that I would workout/walk/jog for atleast half hour a day, for 4 days a week. And promised him that I would donate $2 if I fail to do the same. It seems to be working out so far.

This idea takes after a friend who does agreements for a lot of people. I realized Money can make you do a lot of things!

When that happens..

On the way from engin to PGP, a sudden enlightenment occurred.

When you realize you are something, you slowly start drifting away from that state.

This I found to be true for a lot of cases. When I realize that I am good at say listening to people, I start analysing the thought. And at some point, I start being conscious of it happening when it DOES. As a result, I try to change the case, unknowingly. This habit forms its effects gradually and I have come to see that over a long time I am no longer in possession of that quality. I am still debating if this is a good thing.

PS: Either this post made complete sense to you, or you think I am lame. haha.

The list

I have been meaning to make a list of things that make up me. Here goes:

Pizza
Cheese
Beach
Shoes
Blue
Slow mushy songs
Small green plants
Colourful bags
Stone studs
Junky jewellery
Mind reading
Magic - the real one, that paulo coehlo talks about
Stationery
Swings
Designing stuff
Ice lemon tea
Puzzles
Trees
Walking
Sponegbob Green - Ipod
Spongebob
Seksy daily planners
Yellow
See-saw
Pots
Briyani
Chicken
Structures
Peanut butter
Julia Roberts' smile
Roller coasters
Mr. Maccy Mac - Laptop
Photobooth
Dresses
Kurtis
Central Library, NUS
Chocolate bread
Anything chocolate
Pictures
Post-it
Staring out of a Window
Chennai
Drives
Dancing secretly
Bus rides @ NUS
YIH student lounge
Subway
Rajni
Coke
Logic
Flip-flops
Programming
Singing secretly
Letters
Making collage
Cooking dinner
Sleeping under the open sky
Clothes




PS: Updating forever.

And a new semester..

I am back after a really long time. I really should read up on how time flies. A friend was trying to explain how it is fourth dimension. I should. Maybe I might understand its importance more. Even now, I am scheduled to be studying, while I sit typing away gibberish.

The year seems promising, I have enough CCA work lined up. I have planned to work hard from week two (notice PLANNED, ah yes, I am still the same  -.- ). I even tried auditioning for NUStage, lol, serious mistake I felt! Nevertheless, I tried atleast.

Okay, seriously, I am not sure what got into my mind, and why I am writing with SO many punctuations. Arghh. Time to go, bye.

Two down, three to go!

I finished with my CS1101C exam today. It felt good after i came out. It was one of those exams you felt nice about. I sure dont know how the results will be. Yet, It felt complete-y and joy-y.

Note to Older Self: If you ever turn out to be a CEG student or something, be sure to remember this guy. !

The End!

I was really hoping to reach the end of my Physics notes now and get done with it. I reached the last but one slide. In all ecstasy, I pressed the next arrow thinking about how I am SO going to finish it. My heart knew no better joy when I realized what was written on the slide

'THE END'

Something about these two words at the moment gave immense content. I know I could properly never get enough of Physics through out university. Yet. Thank you Frank. I know I have never attended your lectures or ever heard you or seen you. You are truly beautiful. So Beautiful. I needed that. The end indeed.

There it is..

The exam fear is slowly taking all the space in my head, leaving little behind for the last minute studying. I catch myself staring at things and into the land of no-where. Having given a pretty average performance in the first sem, I am afraid of repeating the ordeal. It hurts to tell my two people that I did not give my best yet another time. Confidence, Hard work, Confidence, Hard work, Confidence, Hard work, Confidence, Hard work, Confidence, Hard work, Confidence, Hard work...

Rainy day much

A day with the clothes

I had to do my laundry today after postponing it for two days.. It reminded me of my first laundry day here.

It was my first week in NUS, and it was time to do the very first laundry. I had forgotten where the laundry room for my block was. Singapore was a friendly place, I could ask my way around, I assumed. I gathered all my clothes and went down to the common floor. I ran to the first person in sight with my huge bag of clothes. He gave me a weird look, he had NO clue. So did three others. Without losing hope, I walked through the entire length of PGP in hope of finding one. I found one at the end of the residence, but something was wrong. I walked all the way back and tried figuring out signs for the laundry room. Aah, How good it felt to see those machines after half hour of running around with dirty clothes!

Oh it does not stop there. You could use ONLY 20 cent coins in the machine. Wow. Okay. I ran again to the foyer to get it from the change machine. I returned back to the washers. Guess what the new problem was? -- there, detergent. I had obviously brought the detergent with me, but I had to open the pack. I am not one of those girls who have long manicured nails which also serve as a packet opener. So no sharp objects in the vicinity except my teeth. I decided to rub the packet on a sharp tile corner till it tears! And success.. sweet. Thats how I got to finishing my first laundry day.

There were many more days of crisis when the sad drying machines do n0t work and you have to convert your room into a drying yard or when you do not have enough 20 cent coins in hand.

I should thank Aarti for letting me sleep in her place in temasek during those gloomy days. (oh, that reminds me, soon on 'The exciting adventures of travelling-to-temasek-in-the-last-bus due to some crisis of sorts'). Nevertheless, something inside me always jumps up when I have to do laundry, wondering what sort of crisis would crop up this time.

!

The essence of life

The first "proper" successful cooking experience since I moved out of home! Yes, Toast and Omelets don't count and there have been many sad sad Dosa experiences before.

Yummy tomato sauce, onion, cheese, corn, and macaroni! Yuuum, yummm, yumm...

Movie love

Okay sorry, my dear Lecture notes,

They are more exciting,

They want me,

And you?

Its the other way round with you,

I want you.

Till you come to me,

I stay with them.

and haha, I SUCK at poems.

Happy day!

Yesterday was a happy day.

I had met with my team mates from ArtVibe. We had our very own AGM. And we chose our president! All that dint matter SO much. After we got done with that, we wrote feedback about each other. More like, the things you love about a person.

How much of it is true, I dont know. But the things they wrote for me, gave a sort of confidence, a happy feeling! I went 'smiling' to temasek to study. It gave me SO much of energy that I stayed up the whole day till 7 in the morning. I have never been capable of something like that! I ought to thank my senior friend for that, for being SO awesome and knowing SO much.

:)

A conversation with Pigs.

I called up my brother today. Reminded me of the days, when we used to have prattling sessions as soon as he comes back from school.

We talk about lazy guys from class, fat teachers, dirty teachers, sick habits of people, burping, beggars, hotels, cars, food, phones, gadgets, pencils, erasers, clothes, shops, farting, singing, dancing, photos, self-obsessions, songs, assignments, crushes, secret outings with friends, driving, my lamborghini dreams, his jaguar and BMW dreams, lunch periods in school, his conversations with pretty girls of his batch, my conversations with smart and cute guys, colourful stationery, how he shouted hello to random passer-bys in a bus, how much i condemn something like that, shit, lizards, yucky food, coke, McD, how we used to pinch each other, how we used to fight like animals from the wild, frog race, dressing up, amma, amma's many sayings, appa, appa when he was angry and i could go on!

Today it was about his trip to a mall in Chennai. This mall was pretty new. And it had only escalators for climbing floors. Before him, stood a bunch of ladies, blocking the path, who had either never seen an escalator OR never been on one. He stood waiting for them to step on it. No, they would not. One would put her foot on it and remove it, giggling as it moved. And then it would be next ones turn. After 3 mins of patience he gave up. He made his way through them and got on it. Smirking to himself, how funny these people made a simple escalator look. And suddenly, a hand caught his leg from behind. Startled, he turned around only to find one of those ladies holding on to him for support. God, how much I laughed. To just imagine a short stout lady clad in synthetic saree, grabbing pig's leg suddenly! Somehow does not seem as funny as it seemed on the phone. :)

Well, this bit adds on to the big book of Balasubramanian-kids'-things-to-talk-about!

PS: Oh yes, I call him Pigs.

EXAAAAAAMS!

Bah, bah back!

Its exam fever all around me now! The study lounges are overflowing with people, their aura of intelligence, red bull cans, big books, laptops, chargers, papers, pens, bags, 7-11 bags, and so many more.

And I am still making myself sit, stare at my screen, and bring all that in me to concentrate.

Okay, back to the monsters now. Ienjoythis, Ienjoythis, Ienjoythis, Ienjoythis.....(Chanting helps!)

The New Life..

Its pretty entrancing. the new life. How I landed up here, away from all those I care for, away from all those that care for me, away from the things I am used to. Never during those crazy dreams I made up of my future, did I imagine changes THIS new.

I landed in a daze. I still remember sitting in that Car and staring into space, registering very little around me. I still could not believe anything. Rather I dint understand I guess. Why I chose to come here, for whom, for what. Many questions. Many many. Some are still staying there, like a huge Lorry blocking the path of small cars. Disorder to order, Bikes and occasional bullock carts to nothing but cars. Sad old buildings to new VERY tall ones. Indian to Chinese. Too many things, all at once. I knew no one, standing on the road that seemed to lead to nowhere, holding my dads hand, like those small girls in TV commercials (back home). The atmosphere smelt different.

With all those questions and more I went on. I let go of his hand. And let him go. He dint want to. I cried. A LOT.

Yet, I stand having found many darlings. Oh SO many. Many who landed here just like me. They make my day, everyday. They teach me how to be a better person. They help me grow up. I understand the troubles amma and appa go through. Some of them. I make my bread. I wash my clothes. I count my money. I clean my room. I perk myself up. I am my own. I feel better. in many ways. Confident. Maybe there is a meaning for all this.

Nevertheless, the dirty doubts keep cropping up, now and then. About this and that. And about him. Stopping my routine, making me pause and look dumb. I will learn to ignore them. Hopefully. And learn to trust. In things and people. In life.

Blah.