Casteism vs Patriotism

I started writing this as a comment and realized it needed to become a post. Thank you Krishna! I love your post. Funnily, I have been pondering about this same question over the past few weeks.

Having a surname that some suppose only tambrahm's should possess, I have been asked the same question too many times. 'Iyer ah'? While I don't understand how Lord Murugan's name supposedly earned certain exclusive rights over the centuries, I also don't understand if caste and such should be important.

Many a conversation has passed with friends about how caste is a big deal in our country. I have a good friend who once talked about marrying a girl only if she was from his same caste. It shocked me, his thinking. At that time I judged it and said 'how narrow-minded'. 

Like Krishna rightly pointed out in her post, I am a proud Indian. Every conversation I have features India and my passion for my country. 

One fine day though, I put two and two together. If it is narrow-minded to be passionate about your caste, what is it to be passionate about your country? Isn't it just an extended form of passion for your roots? I am simply covering more demographics than him.

I don't judge him anymore. I am glad he has his preferences while I have mine too! I think patriotism is just an extended form of narrow-mindedness, if I may. And like Krishna said 'Ellarum maanushya jaati' (Every man is from the human caste)

I am not going to change my view on patriotism. I am not going to give up my Indian passport and declare myself to be a citizen of the world. I am simply going to stop judging patriotism - in any form. 

PS: This post ofcourse does not deal with all the injustice and favouritism that happens in India under the pretension of casteism. Having personal preferences is one thing; perpetuating it is another. 

Nokia phones

I was (and still am) an ardent fan of simplistic-old-fashioned-mobile phones for just one reason.

They work.
Always.

I was reading a news article about how the Nokia shares rose 9% despite their 969m euros quarterly loss and went down a spiral of thoughts on old mobile phones. My dad always used a Nokia phone when mobile phones started entering the Indian market. I cherish the days I used to play Snake on it! And when I was 15, I got my very own Noia phone. Many dear and close-to-heart memories with that phone.

The term good mobile phone has gained new meaning these days. I have spoken to iPhone users, Samsung users and everyone else - any smart phone that lasts one year is a good phone.

The days of buying a mobile phone and keeping it for a couple of years is getting close to non-existence. I have blogged about old phones here before. They are issue-less and they get to the point. They are built with quality and durability. They are trust-worthy. I wonder if and when smart phones will achieve that level of technological development.

Going back to an old fashioned phone. It is something I aspire to do someday. Like all the other things I aspire to do and don't. Like how I want to study 5 hours a day and eat only at meal times and reduce fat in my body and spend more time painting and sleeping.

Dad's first Nokia - It's design is still classy!

My first Nokia - Thanks for a lovely two years you. I miss those days. 

New Music High

I love discovering songs. I am sure you do too!

Just a couple of days back I found the perfect song to lift my moods up and help me focus - It's time by Imagine Dragons.

I don't over do the song. Just one listen when I need it. Like a Panadol before the threat of a fever (Though I must warn you that I don't ever take a Panadol before/during/after a fever because I don't believe in taking medicines for trifles - just a metaphor).

Ofcourse my all time favourite inspiring song is All the right moves by OneRepublic. Listen to it on repeat when you need some thoughtful powerful music!

#4 - Inter-cultural differences and what we can do?

'I don't understand why we are arguing about this. What is happening in India does not concern you in anyway, does it?'

'That's the solution, isn't it? It does not concern us, why bother about it. I need some time alone, I'll see you later Jay..'

'Pri don't be silly..' Priya was already out of the room.

Jess and Priya met two years back at the freshman inauguration ceremony. Jess had made it half hour earlier to the venue being the punctual pedant she was and Priya was 5 minutes late being the nonchalant realist. They were seated next to each other and they started talking. The conversation that day between two opposite characters turned into a friendship built on trust and affection.

-- 

Today they were sitting in Jess’s room when Priya read something out aloud- Religious activists were hunting down unmarried couples in public places in India and forcing them to either marry or declare kinship. These groups violently attacked the public claiming they had lost their culture and were imitating the west. This incident was not the first of its kind. Just a month ago, a mob entered a resort and physically attacked a party that included women. They took the law in their hands and believed that they were bringing India's original culture back into the society by ruthlessly stopping the teenagers from having fun.

Jess for one did not understand why Priya bothered herself with these issues. She did not understand why someone who was so realistic about everything else, let this particular issue affect her. 'I think you worry about this too much. What do you think you can do? They'll find a way to punish the offenders'

It boiled Priya's blood to know of the animosity it was causing in the society. Her parents taught her a lot about religion, culture and values and feet were firm in her principles. However the exposure she got through education and life outside India opened her up for acceptance and appreciation of other belief systems. 'It is not their right to forcefully inflict a said-culture. Culture is up to the person who carries it. Inter-cultural differences can be solved by accepting one another, not through violence. The society needs such broad-mindedness for growth'

She was also mad at Jess for not understanding her place.

-- 

They hadn't spoken for 2 weeks. Jess felt terrible. Priya was never the kind to ignore; she would always come running back even after an argument. So to make up, Jess read up on the issue. She tried to understand why this was important for Priya. She had heard all of her opinions on the matter. She put her writing skills to use and created a blog. One that addressed Intercultural harmony and ways to achieve it through effective communication.

She knocked on Priya's door. 'Hi Pri, before you say anything I have to show you something' She opened up the blog. 'I think you and I should write on this. We can publicize the issue among students and expand from there. Let's do our part by educating people on showing empathy for differences'

Priya hugged Jess. This is why she needed her.

2102012

Today's date is a palindrome!

Ah the minuscule joys of life..

Memory techniques

One ones are one
One twos are two
One threes are three

I am sure you started thinking of the time your primary school math teacher grilled multiplication tables into your head.

I was trying to remember a particular multiplication table the other day. I couldn't do a good job of it. It was 7 tables. And somehow 7 tables never stuck. From then until now. Something else always stuck though. Any guesses?

9 tables. It seemed to make more sense than the others. Apart from that, a grandmother's recipe to get to the table is to open up your ten fingers; have a starting point. I like to keep it on my left most finger - thumb. Start counting from that as one. Now for the technique. If you want to find 7 times 9, you close the 7th finger. The count on the left is the first number of the answer and the count on the right is the last. There you go!

I realized very few people know of/use this method. They just remember. Memory has never been my strongest point. So I have resort to measures like this.

Some others I always rely on are WE for West and East. I had a tough time keeping them in the right place until a teacher suggested I remember it as West and East. WE.

How do you know if a month has 30 or 31 days. Knuckles. Fold your left hand into a fist. Count the knuckles and the depressions for your answer. The knuckle bone is your 31 days and the depression in between two knuckles is 30 days. It even takes into account that July and August have 31 days consecutively.

We had diaries for our school. When you open any page you land in a week. The left page has three days and the right page has four. Even today three years after graduation I refer to that pattern to count days in between dates!

I am glad to have chanced upon these quirks! 

Art, for change

A friend posted Mallika Sarabhai's TED talk on Facebook today. A late saturday morning could not have been more inspiring!

With all the talk about Changing The World, I have often wondered how I can contribute. I have spent hours thinking about my capacities and bringing them to good use. Sarabhai's talk gives a bit of hope. Her innocuous questions about the bigger scheme of things our leaders chalk up and how it affects a basic need of the masses makes you think twice about what we are doing everyday at work.

We can't all drop our lives and take up justice as our motto. That's fair enough. However, what we can do is attribute a part of our schedule towards a cause. Planting a seed is all I ask for. You could write about your opinions on social change, discuss your ideas on the numerous social platforms we are part of, go to an NGO and meet these people who need a helping hand, tell your kids stories about injustice and inspire them to think of the right way, use your talent to make your point. It's just planting a seed in the minds of your kin.

Little drops of water make a mighty ocean. 

Pain

"Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place"

Listening to trees

“When we have learned how to listen to trees, then the brevity and the quickness and the childlike hastiness of our thoughts achieve an incomparable joy.”

-Hermann Hesse

I read this quote a couple of days back and it was sitting on my mind till today morning. How do you listen to trees? What does that feel like?

I was walking along a road that had dense canopy early today. The thought of listening to trees  jumped up and made me curious. Now that I was among these guys, I could try listening. Maybe the ignorance of a defined process is part of the learning. 

I sat among the trees and looked. I switched off the radio on my phone. I took a moment to place myself in the scene. The passage I had read earlier ran through my mind. Highlights of Hesse's words came alive. As they buzzed around I think I realised a tiny bit of what he meant. 

The trees seemed strong and sure. I saw myself agreeing to everything I read. 

Nature has a great way of assuring us, trusting in us and giving us hope. I went through a meditative calmness while I tried to focus on what I saw and heard. 

I felt like I truly lived in the moment those 10 minutes. 

Source for Hesse's words: Brain Pickings

Is extreme pragmatism essential for success?

A wisp of discussion wafted in our Communication class yesterday - about pragmatic people and their successful lives. I have always wondered about pragmatism in its most extensive form.

I have role-models who lead extremely cautious and careful lives. They plan and weigh their every move. They frame a question of essentiality over each problem and choose their options after answering that question. They know how to contain their lust. They know where to put their money. They know how to spend their time. They know whom to talk to. All these scenarios are chosen after answering the question of relevance, significance and importance to them.

I look up to these people in awe. Know that I am referring only to a certain type of people I have personally met and am not judging successful people in general. Sure, there are successful people who live lavish lives.

Jane Austen and Tom Lefroy did not get together. I personally think it was because she refused to be pragmatic. She refused to see the good their union would have done to her. She instead chose to be generous about the man she loved and let him go for what she believed to be the greater good. (They did turn out to be very successful in their separate careers though)

Focusing the light this discussion throws on me - I have analysed my decisions and attitude towards things. I have realised that I am not that realistic. I tend to be more on the side of optimism and hope. I like to believe that it will all turn out to be good. Does that mean I am not realistic?

I tend to work for what I think I want, even if it isn't the most realistic of thoughts. I have been doing quite well with that attitude, so far. However, I pause to think if it is good for my future. I am not going to be under my parents shadow forever. I am not going to stay in university where exams turn up only every 4 months and that's that. I am not going to be in this shell.

I am going to be surprised, pleasantly or nastily. I am stepping into uncertainty like never before. Will being more realistic be my armor against the 'Big Bad World'? Will being more realistic help me become more successful? Should I continue to dream a dream?

I am sure the answer is to find a middle ground. That's always the answer.

Balance.
Between dreams and sense.

I guess I am still trying to understand the extent of pragmatism I must embed into my outlook. I am still trying to figure how exactly I would be one. I am still trying to relate this outlook to success.

Spinning back on to the track

I have been heavy mentally, since last week. Too many issues to sort out. The problem in such a case is that I tend to get stuck on without moving forward.

I wasted last weekend without much progress on my work. As a result an eerie sense of irritation and feeling of dissatisfaction creeps into my mind. These two ghosts fog the head and are enemies of productivity, I have come to realize.

Today is the time I find a way around that. I took a paper and pen and put down my problems. I listed down the simplest possible to-dos for each case. And viola! Its amazing how an activity like that brings clarity to the mind. I know exactly what my worries are. I know the exact path to solving those problems.

It's very easy to get bogged down by the amount of work we have. Breaking things down makes things clearer and cleans the air around possible uncertainty. I am unwinding now for a while, with my favourite pakodas and some sewing to refresh my mind.

Back to list after!

Queueing in MRT Stations!

I was getting into the Kent ridge mrt, when I witnessed something amazing. People were queueing up outside the mrt doors on either side to get in. I was at awe. How does this country make it work?! No really.

If you have read my previous blog posts you are sure to know of my love for the order in this country. How they let it permeate into every strata of the society still impresses me.

Like the men say, 'Some how some way, things just work here'. Even if its just in one station. I am sure it will spread far and wide.

This blog post was waiting in my Evernote from last saturday! To my surprise I saw a post from the Singapore Kindness Movement about these sort of queues in a lot more stations.

Most of us take the MRT on a regular basis. The count of complain among the commuters about crowded stations and hence rude passengers is increasing to no end. An initiative like this is a light at the end of the tunnel. Let LTA work on its transportation management plans. In the meantime, let us try and make the best of the situation.

Way to go, Singapore! Proud :) 

#2 - Growing up and learning values..

My parents were very strict in their upbringing of my brother and me. Going to a school with kids who were freer to do what they wished did not help either. I was at war in the battlefield with my mum literally every other day in high school!

I came back from school one day wanting to go on a trip with a couple of friends. It was an adventure camp organized by a very prestigious institution. It was supposed to be three days of activities and a day of travelling back and forth. I was very keen on going for this trip for two reasons. Firstly, I would get to spend time with my friends and try my hand at some activities. Secondly, it would give me a sound recognition when I applied for colleges the next year!

My parents refused to let me go. They did not provide me with sufficient reasoning for their decision. They simply stated that it would not be the right thing to do at that point in time, when I was in the middle of exams.

With my parents and me being on the two opposite ends of the scale we had to find middle ground. I had to make them understand what that trip meant to me. They had to make me understand what their concern was. The situation needed some empathy.

That day we argued and I ended up getting impatient with them. I was not getting things my way and they were able to make me listen to them. They agreed to let me go half-heartedly after I threw a tantrum. The situation was ugly and we ended up hurting each other – simply because we did not express ourselves effectively.

I could have listed down my pros and cons. They could have brought up their concerns and dealt with them one by one. Do you think that would have been effective? What could we have done differently?

(Edited / 11 September 2012)

Why the Bill Clinton Speech worked for me

It was strong, passionate, effective and well-said. His charisma took off from the very first word he uttered. Rather from when he stepped on the stage. He spoke like he meant what he said. He made you believe what he wants you to believe in. He commanded your attention. He was firm.

He just made it work.

I am asking myself, 'How did he do it?'.

Not to mention, his delivery was the highlight of the speech. He supported his facts with numbers. He brought up issues which is the beef to the people of America. He served his argument on a sketch that common man can understand.

The energy in the arena was amazing! It lifted my spirits up so high - given that I am not an American, I have never heard Clinton at a DNC before and I am watching this on record.

I could not help but think about Indian politicians as I was cheering on along with the crowd. I have rarely seen such passion backed up with believable evidence. I have rarely seen such energy and passion.

I understand very little about the American political scene. That said, I do know one thing. This man can inspire. And right now, I just want to be sold.

It was pure magic. I hope to be able to deliver to an audience like this one day! I hope to be able to inspire and take people into my confidence like this man did today.

It was 45 minutes well spent! I think you should too. If not for anything else, just to see greatness!

Bringing a scintilla of unique touch to your customer

I have often spent my evenings wondering what I will do for a living and how I will do it. What will I sell? What will I create? How can I make my ideas different? How do I get to people?

How do I flatter my customer?

With a personal touch. 

I know I want to be in a business around the design of things.

Art, Clothes, Jewels, Things.

In those evenings I think about how I would innovate to stand out. Art, Clothes, Jewels and Things are too wide and too old. People have been selling these things and the design around these things ever since the idea of business and selling dawned on humans.

I read a HBR article that gave a wonderful spark of idea. The author focuses his arguments on one target. To serve people with a personal touch. To make people feel like it was created for them.

You can get treatment like that with a Chanel Limited Edition bag. However Chanel is Chanel. It's not for everybody.

That's where I can see an interesting challenge - How can I provide this experience to every Jane?

I am loving this spark of thought! The challenge is being creative in modifying your idea to suit a specific need.

Do read the article here and try to apply 'bringing a personal touch' experience to your idea! I'll be thinking in the mean time..

#1 - Effective communication to me is..

So that's the first topic for ES2007S.

Early man felt incomplete without a means to communicate to the next person. That’s how language came into existence. In the early days, the next person was probably literally the next person - his family, his tribe. In today's sense the definition of next person is over a large set - your friends from social networks, your peers, your family, your partner and the list can go on.

The human network in everyday life is huge. On an average one talks to about 15-20 people in a day - it is inevitable in the connected world of today. I talk because I want to tell someone what I think, to help someone, to get assistance from someone, to make friends, to help others perceive me, to make others like me.

Whatever the motivation for communication, am I doing it right? I have had times when the person I was in conversation with did not understand me. That demeans the point of communication. What I would love to work towards is bringing the occurrence of these situations to an absolute zero.

To answer the question, effective communication to me is when I make the person see the world through my eyes.

It is interesting to also extend the effectiveness to community oriented communication. I like to think it is truly effective when the communication makes an impact on the receiver.

Well-chosen words.
Complimenting body language.
A purpose.

Effective Communication.

(Edited / 27 August 2012)

Introductions

I have taken up ES2007S - Professional Communication. It is a module that came with strong recommendations from two close friends. I found this semester to be very apt for going for it!

As part of the module we are expected to blog once in two weeks about ideas around communication skills! I thought I might as well continue to blog here. For the new comers from my ES2007S class, hello! Treat this as my first post towards this module.

As for the introductions, I have met most of you already I guess. I am Dhanya, a civil engineering student in my final year. I love anything to do with design and art. I believe it is my mission in life to make the world more colourful, make people more happy and thereby make it a better place to live in.

How exactly do I plan to do it? I will continue to paint and spread some joy. I will teach kids some art and bring questions to their attention. I will design for a the rest of my life. That's the plan for now atleast!

How does engineering fit into this plan? I believe getting trained in engineering is getting trained to think in a certain way. To be more specific, in a certain analytical way. Analytical and Logical. So far so good, I like to think.

Apart from that please read some posts here if you have the time to spare. You might just learn more about me!

Looking forward to an exciting semester guys. I am sure we can learn to overcome our inhibitions - if any and learn to communicate more effectively to the world!

P.James Magic Show

'The weirdest things make you miss home'

A close photographer friend had posted this photo a few months back. If you are from Chennai, you know what this photo means! 

The photo popped up on my Facebook feed and reminded me of home. For the others who are wondering why a dirty wall is up here, the subject is the writing on this wall - 'P.James Magic Show'.

This P James dude, whoever he is has written these exact same things on so many compound walls in Chennai City, you could not have missed it! 

I would like to think of him as the pioneer of publicity by spamming in Chennai. Soon the politicians took lead and pasted their victorious smile bearing faces on all surfaces visible. Now it is harder then before to spot P. James's Ad on the streets in all the hala-bula our leaders have created. 

Well what can I say, he introduced the idea to us. 

One can tell so many things about him from this Ad. He most probably kept a very small budget for publicity. A couple of cans of black paint, one or two men to paint the 'magic' characters. That's about it. Publicity taken care of.

It tells you so much about his Magic Show. Sort of symbolizes the beauty of all things - magic and others, doesn't it.  

Simple, yet strong in its purpose!

A lesson from P. James. I will try to get you hired one day though! For all the joy you have given when I spot an ad, for being one of the plain symbols of Chennai. 

Travelling back and forth

I have taken a couple of transportation modules this semester. Interesting prof who loves entertaining us with his stories. There's something about stories that makes one inquisitive. Same reason why we love gossip and Hollywood and Facebook. We like hearing of 'your' day and 'your' life.

Same reason we love travelling and reading books. We like to find out what we don't know. We like something new. I don't think anywhere except Cranford refused to embrace industrial revolution. Even the people of Cranford gave in at the end anyway.

My prof told us that when we take a form of public transport in Singapore, there are atleast ten people who take the exact same route with us. This means when you have a regular route you take, you would recognize some faces on the way! They are not stalking you, they are just going to the same place as you.

How would it be to know these people? Their stories? How would it be to find out their dreams?

Maybe you share a lot more than a ride in common.

Have you ever met a friend of a friend, spoken about your mutual friend and went 'The world's a small place!'?

I bet you have! That is what we have achieved today with travelling. A web of people who know more of each other, who share more. The potential this tool holds seems very powerful looking ahead! 

Patriotism and Campooter Scanning

It's been 65 years of independence for India. 1947 this day that year, people tasted freedom for the first time in 200-300 odd years. It meant a lot to the India then, being their own nation. We have a long way to go in terms of development. We have a lot of behaviour issues. Like that of a child that's been given too much attention. Yet we are proud to say it is us (or a couple hundred politicians) who decide our own fate. We are a proud democratic family.

I was walking to an admin office in my university looking to submit my loan documents. If it went well, if they took my papers to be clean - it would be my independence day. I wouldn't need dad to pay anything for my final year at college. Having a bunch of friends who are on scholarship and hence being on their own, makes you insecure. Especially when 'you' is me. Being independent is what I consider as the first step towards my self satisfaction. The daughter of a man who is proud of having built his life/business without his dad's help. The daughter of a woman who lost her father at an young age and hence made a lot of critical decisions by herself. It's not very surprising I turned out this way, much to my mother's annoyance though.

Life has a funny way of twisting things you want and playing around with it - dragging your leg a bit, making you think its not what you want and then a while later giving that same thing to you (sometimes).

So while I was thinking how cool it would be to get my loan fixed the same day as India's Independence day, life decides to make a point. To make its stand and say it is the deciding authority of a typical day's coolness - not me.

The woman sitting at the counter looked at my papers and looked at my face. She pauses for two seconds before she continues.

'Where is the passport copy of your guarantor?'

'I need it? I did not know that'

'Yes that and yours as well'

'Oh alright I'll..'

She jumps into my sentence silencing my voice. Like the way water hushes frying onions in a pan.

'Do they have a computer there? Do they know how to use it and scan a passport? Ask them to do that and you can print it here'

She offers her smart campooter usage advice.

My alter-ego just could not take it. Like Rose's bike rider alter-ego chick with wild condescending hair. (Such a perfect alter-ego image, btw)

'Hey *** firstly India is not in the 1400s and secondly, you need a scanner not a computer to scan'

I didn't say anything obviously. I just looked at her, grabbed my papers and completed my sentence.

'..I'll get it tomorrow'

I was raged. It was a very small instance. She probably meant it all in good will. Indian national girl looking to submit loan documents. Must be very poor. Her country is pretty poor and illiterate as well. Let me help her out and give her the most efficient way to send a file over.

I apologize for what some may interpret as false pride. I can't appreciate her kindness. It was judgemental and unnecessary. I might be exaggerating but it is what I truly feel.

Times like these fuel the fire within to inspire change in India. Little gestures like this make me think about my selfishness in having left the country.

We'll make it happen. We'll get there. Every dog has its day.

In the mean time, I have a request to friends and family. Don't destroy the image the world has of your country with your own words. I know a girl who goes around telling her international friends that Indian girls get married when they touch 14. If you really do have to share interesting facts, atleast try putting them under the heritage/culture light. I would be gracious and spared from 'So are you married?' questions.

Happy Independence day folks!

Let's begin at our own homes :) Hope it made you think, about your patriotism for your country!