#8 Designing a composition

We move on to Elements of Composition from today!

Writing a love letter is different from writing a casual essay, which is different from writing something organised. It is essential for the author to think of the shape of the writing before we begin. In this tiny paragraph, I have introduced the topic for the day, moved on to describing my point and then finished it off with an explanation/example.

It is quite easy to get lost in the writing, as I have often felt in the middle. However, taking time to think of the structure, putting it down and then writing a composition on this foundation works wonders!

#7 Participial phrase rule

Not

Being the only son of the house, she won all of his family's love. 

Instead

Being the only son of the house, his family's love was won by her. 

--

I realize this mistake is something very common, when I think about it now. You will realize that something is wrong with the statement, but find it tough to point out the mistake. Today, there was gyan!

#6 Using period inappropriately

Not -

The beach was crowded with little kids. Playing with their kites. 
The marathon was a success. Seeing participation from people all over the country. 

Instead -

The beach was crowded with little kids, playing with their kites. 
The marathon was a success, seeing participation from people all over the country. 

You can use it to stress on expression though.

She moved into the darkness. Swiftly. 

Mobius loop of self-perception and behaviour

My favorite is the idea that people become what they do. This explanation of how people acquire attitudes and traits dates back to the philosopher Gilbert Ryle, but was formalized by the social psychologist Daryl Bem in his self-perception theory. People draw inferences about who they are, Bem suggested, by observing their own behavior.

Self-perception theory turns common wisdom on its head. … Hundreds of experiments have confirmed the theory and shown when this self-inference process is most likely to operate (e.g., when people believe they freely chose to behave the way they did, and when they weren't sure at the outset how they felt).

Self-perception theory is an elegant in its simplicity. But it is also quite deep, with important implications for the nature of the human mind. Two other powerful ideas follow from it. The first is that we are strangers to ourselves. After all, if we knew our own minds, why would we need to guess what our preferences are from our behavior? If our minds were an open book, we would know exactly how honest we are and how much we like lattes. Instead, we often need to look to our behavior to figure out who we are. Self-perception theory thus anticipated the revolution in psychology in the study of human consciousness, a revolution that revealed the limits of introspection.

But it turns out that we don't just use our behavior to reveal our dispositions—we infer dispositions that weren't there before. Often, our behavior is shaped by subtle pressures around us, but we fail to recognize those pressures. As a result, we mistakenly believe that our behavior emanated from some inner disposition.

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I read this amazing paragraph written by psychologist Timothy Wilson. We are what we do. It is a very strong explanation that teaches us how to become, what we want to become. Amy Cuddy's explanation on faking it till you make it also comes to my mind. When you want to become something, tell your brain about it. Act it out. You are faking it, but coaching your brain, at the same time. Be at it constantly, regularly - one fine day, you will become it. 

Original article source

A Woman of Substance

I love stories of strong-willed women. It gives me the hope that I can indeed leave a mark on earth. This movie is about a young yorkshire kitchen maid, Emma Harte, in the late 1890s creating her fortune and building her business empire.

The movie starts with her hard work as a maid and shows her using hatred as the feed for her success in life - hatred against the world, hatred that she was never a part of gentry. She transforms that into manure for her life. She yearns to become rich and build a fortress around her and her dear ones.

Looks like it is true that you need to feel like an outcast to make it big. I was watching Obama speak earlier in the day, in an interview with Ellen, before he became the president. He said, "I have been motivated because I feel I have been an underdog, I am not likely to be here; you don't find that many presidential candidates named Barack Obama..."

Many surprising twists in the story for a strong willed woman. You can see how she loses control over her marital life now and then. I guess every story has a two sides. The good and the bad. The right and the wrong. She succeeded in one part of her life by giving up in some others. I guess you need to "Judge success by what you have given up". 

The movie even threw light on human greed, when her children get too ambitious and forget their mother's sacrifice. Emma Harte was a brave, smart and willed woman. The movie ends with her saying, "I hope my grandchildren discover the secret of life - To endure"

Mrs Dalloway

A recent way of doing things has been recording them. Memories are rarely etched graphically forever. I realized how I had forgotten tiny details of a lot of things from the past, over time. I am not one of those people who remembers events to their minute details and speaks of them elaborately even after 10 years. And in retrospect it would have been nice to remember these things.

I watch a lot of movies. Good ones. Bad ones. Tardy ones. Wanton ones. I have vowed to write reviews and after thoughts on my blog. It helps to revisit these memories!

Mrs Dalloway. I am addicted to victorian age movies. BBC is to blame for the most part. I enjoy the absolutely detailed and specific lives of old english men, the grandeur of living and dressing of english women, the dedication of the housekeepers, the strong human emotions and relationships of the characters. Or atleast the portrayal of these.

It was amusing to see Mrs Dalloway pick her groom. It made me think of the things we assume we want from a relationship, which turn into things we wish we never wished for. 'Not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck', goes a Buddhist saying.

Sally goes, 'You may think me sentimental, but I have come to believe that the only thing worth saying is what you feel'. In reply, Peter goes, 'Well I don't know what I feel... I know that I loved her once and that it stayed with me all my life and that it coloured everything'. 

And one final lovely dialogue, 'What does the brain matter, compared to the heart'. 

Re-watch: Oh yes!

Don't take the first NO

Learnings come in simple little moments; like one subtle wisp of fragrance in your breath.

I got a rejection from an institution yesterday. While the details of the story are not essential, what stuck was a wiser friend's words. 'Don't take the first No'. I have never been good at pushing my way through. I am a staunch believer in what I deserve.

Lately, I have come to realize that, that belief can be blinding. While it is true that I will deserve what I do, it is important for me to ensure that I have provided all the information necessary to the concerned party. This process can be a long one and need not stop with the first exchange.

Let's take a case. I ask Mr A, if he can help me sort out a certain issue. Mr A objects. That's a rejection. The lesson I learnt will ensure I go back to Mr A and give more information about my issue; information that will possibly revoke his interest.

In essence, I will refuse to take the first No. What's the harm in trying, anyway?

#5 Dealing with independent clauses

Bhargav's stories are awe-inspiring; they are based on real life experiences. 

Use a semicolon to separate independent clauses. It is okay to use a full stop as well.

Bhargav's stories are awe-inspiring. They are based on real life experiences. 

One can use the colon to introduce a stop that is less obvious than a full stop. When these clauses are joined by conjunctions, one must stick to a comma. If it is joined by a adverb, go back to semicolon.

John has always been on time; besides, its raining heavily today. 

When the clauses are short and in a flow of tone - it would be an exception to this rule.

Man proposes, God disposes.

#4 Use comma before a conjunction

The tides are high this evening, and I don't feel like talking a walk on the shore. 

Sheila is anxious about her results, but she knows it will all work out. 

However, you don't use comma when the and is connecting something close or immediate. Like..

Take the medicines and drink some water. 

#3 Commas for parenthetic expressions

Seema's exhibition, which was held early May, was awarded the Best Show of the Year prize.

The car, you drove last summer, has just been repaired again. 

--

There is a whole lot of rules for this one about parenthetic phrases - phrases which break the flow, dates, abbreviations like Jr. in names, and nonrestrictive clauses. Essentially, we add commas when the phrase gives new information that can be a separate sentence. 

#2 Use comma to separate three or more terms

Aarti, Akshaya, and Dhanya

Painting, Singing, and Dancing

--

This is a HUGE learning for me because I always write - Aarti, Akshaya and Dhanya. I could have sworn that was the only way to do until this minute.. Well.

#1 Form the possessive singular of nouns by adding 's

1) Follow the rule whatever the consonant.
Greeves's dog
Louis's coat
Exceptions - Ancient proper names (Ex: Jesus, Moses) and words such as conscience

2) Pronominal possessives such as hers, yours, its, theirs and ours are exceptions as well. However indefinite pronouns use apostrophe.
One's game
No one else's bag

3) It's vs Its - It's is a contraction, meaning "it is". Its is a possessive.

PS: Starting today I will be blogging a series of grammar lessons from 'The Elements of Style". The aim is to improve my writing/grammar skills.  

On Men and making a Living

Sherwood Anderson sent the following letter to his 17 year old son in 1927. I was amazed at how his thoughts on men and the world still applied. A very hearty letter.. 

--

The best thing, I dare say, is first to learn something well so you can always make a living. Bob seems to be catching on at the newspaper business and has had another raise. He is getting a good training by working in a smaller city. As for the scientific fields, any of them require a long schooling and intense application. If you are made for it nothing could be better. In the long run you will have to come to your own conclusion.

The arts, which probably offer a man more satisfaction, are uncertain. It is difficult to make a living.

If I had my own life to lead over I presume I would still be a writer but I am sure I would give my first attention to learning how to do things directly with my hands. Nothing gives quite the satisfaction that doing things brings.

Above all avoid taking the advice of men who have no brains and do not know what they are talking about. Most small businessmen say simply – 'Look at me.' They fancy that if they have accumulated a little money and have got a position in a small circle they are competent to give advice to anyone.

Next to occupation is the building up of good taste. That is difficult, slow work. Few achieve it. It means all the difference in the world in the end.

I am constantly amazed at how little painters know about painting, writers about writing, merchants about business, manufacturers about manufacturing. Most men just drift.

There is a kind of shrewdness many men have that enables them to get money. It is the shrewdness of the fox after the chicken. A low order of mentality often goes with it.

Above all I would like you to see many kinds of men at first hand. That would help you more than anything. Just how it is to be accomplished I do not know. Perhaps a way may be found. Anyway, I'll see you this summer. We begin to pack for the country this week.

With love,

Dad.

What can I do?

Every time I come back home (Chennai, India) it is an emotional high. I am taken over by the pull family and close ties exercise, the patriotism which puts my thinking into a defensive mode, the restlessness which makes me pause, the ache of living so far away from home and the urge to inspire change.

The past few days have been grueling on any woman's soul in my country. And yes I consciously say woman. I have heard many a harsh word from some men and I have decided to keep them out of my opinion.

There are so many thoughts floating in my head right now. They are bursting to come out and flood the streets. The thoughts of what must have happened when she got caught, how she must have reacted, how they would have forced her and how they would have tortured her is killing me. What was it that those men wanted? What was so important that they had the audacity to torture another human being? A million questions are hitting the walls of my self and asking me to look for answers.

And the most important question of them all, what can I do? A close friend and I were talking about India and what we can do to make things better. We hit upon a realization - mothers are in many ways the sources of wealth for the country. They educate their kids with their every thought, word and action - consciously and unconsciously. If your mother taught you to respect women, you will.

Like how the answer to everything in life almost always lies within, the answer to this problem does as well. We women must teach our family and our kids, respect. We must teach them to be humane.

I ask the women of my country to look on their left and right. Does your father respect women? Does your brother hold his girl friends in regard? Does your family know humanity? If you think not, talk to them. Make this your own problem. Make this your mission. We would never have to cry for another lost daughter. 

Incredulity of flights

We are very close to being able to fly individually as a way of commute. I am surprised we haven't seen instruments to fly as a single traveller (Imagine the jetpacks, that featured in The Jetsons show) what with a century of flying already.

I was on my flight home last night to Chennai, India. It never fails to amaze me - the fact that a huge vehicle that looks like a bird carrying 200 people and their lives in suitcases, travels in the air at 30000 feet across the realm of time.

It is so simple yet so wondrous. Flights that make the man next to me so restless that he can't close his eyes for even a wink of sleep, flights that get the woman to jump with joy when her phone rings as soon as we landed in Chennai, flights that feed the kid's head with innocent questions about fellow passengers and window seats, flights that make an 80 years old couple fly and flights that change lives.

I was in awe for a couple of moments just after take off thinking about all this.

I'll leave you with a great song that immediately comes to mind when I say airplane.

Can willpower be infinite?

I have always believed that will power is a finite source. I have many a times felt this too on a busy day. I would have spent all my mental power on a set of activities and by the time it trickles down to the last set of to-dos what's left is very little.

This article got me thinking though. Isn't calling willpower a finite source a sort of oxymoron? Isn't the point of will power the fact that it can be mustered when we really want it and if we really want it? Aren't you supposed to exercise will power until you achieve what you really want?

I am still thinking though. Is it?

Long Distance Love

I have always fallen in love with far too many postage stamps. When you appeared on my doorstep wearing nothing but a postcard province…no, appeared is the wrong word. Is there a word for sucker-punching someone in the heart? Is there a word for when you’re sitting at the bottom of a roller coaster and you realize that the climb’s coming, that you know what the climb means, that you can already feel the flip in your stomach from the fall before you even moved. Is there a word for that? There should be.

You can only fit so many words in a postcard…only so many in a phone call…only so many into space before you forget that words are sometimes used for things other than filling emptiness.

It’s hard to build a body out of words. I have tried. We have both tried.

Instead of holding your head to my chest, I tell you about the boy who lives downstairs from me; who stays up all night long practicing his drum set. The neighbors have complained. They have busy days tomorrow but he keeps on thumping through the night convinced that practice makes perfect.

Instead of holding my hand, you tell me about a sandwich you made for lunch today; how the pickles fit so perfectly with the lettuce.

Practice does not make perfect. Practice makes permanent.

Repeat the same mistakes over and over and you don’t get any closer to Carnegie Hall, even I know that. Repeat the same mistakes over and over and you don’t get any closer. You never get any closer.

Is there a word for the moment you win tug-of-war? When the weight gives in and all that extra rope comes hurdling towards you; how even though you’ve won, you still wind up with muddy knees and burns on your hands. Is there a word for that? I wish there was.

I would have said it when we were finally together on your couch, neither one of us with anything left to say.

Still now, I send letters into space hoping that some mailman somewhere will track you down and recognize you from the description in my poems. That he will place the stack of them in your hands and tell you, there is a girl that still writes to you… she doesn’t know how not to.

--

An absolutely heart-warming rendition by Sarah Kay. I have no words to explain the simple naive affection she speaks for. It hit a chord.

I am a fan.

Appreciation for a well-oiled machine

A couple of bad food choices all through yesterday has given me a toad throat and killer coughs, all day today. It has resulted in me giving up on working on my to-dos and sticking to my schedule.

I paused to think about how we forget to appreciate the well-oiled machine - all is well until there is a flood, all is well until there is a traffic jam, all is well until bad health comes in the way of work.

We notice things only when they stop being normal - juts like how we notice people only when they start giving problems.

We forget to think about the greatness of smooth running. We forget to think about the number of things that are given - that make the functioning of the day better. 

#1 - Giving back

It is above all my principles, inanimate things and relationships. It is as I see it the purpose of my existence. I have taken many things from nature and society, growing up - I still am. Principle of reciprocity applies everywhere and to this too. Having taken so much and having learnt so much from this planet, it is surely my duty to give back?

I believe so.

Every learning that I learnt so far; Every person that means to me presently; Every thought I ever had; Every deed I ever did; Every skill I ever acquired - they all culminate into this for me. To make one nice package and give it back.

In a few months I will be done with my university. And most probably this is the last of my formal education. Because I can't wait to learn from the real world and from my real mistakes. And in whatever I do, I will imbibe giving back as a part of my journey. Because there is nothing like seeing someone finding you useful; there is nothing like giving a hand to those who need it; there is nothing like sharing and growing together.

With a little bit of my hippie self, a dash of art, a spoon of effectiveness and management, a kilo of community and condiments of thought bubbles (like below) from artists's like Austin Kleon, I hope to make my journey my own unique experience.

To the journey henceforth. 

Project 21

#2 - Mother

I am her. Simply put. 

Mom is always the example to follow and copy. Her habits are mine. I remember going to bed with a book because she would do so. I do so many things today because she taught me to. She is talking parent. She talks through things. She does not hide and seal. I got my candor from her. She is tenacious and committed. She lives for punctuality. She taught me the importance of independence. There have been times when I wondered why she did not come and collect me, instead let me pick myself up. Now I know. She is the Indian version of a proper english mother with her prim habits. 

There was a brief portion in our relationship, when I was not fond of her. My despicable early teenage years when I was atrocious and mostly disagreeable. I would argue with her many times. I have even said mean things. I don't want to apologize for what I was, but I want to apologize for hurting you. 

Those days are thankfully in the past now. I am glad we fight very little these days if not at all. We both are rebels that way. 

I surprise myself when I jump at buying a pretty glass bowl for my cutlery collection, when I deride beauty parlours, when I support natural ways of health and healing, when I prefer a walk to a gym workout, when I enjoy gossiping, when I imitate people, when I displace things in the name of cleaning the house, when I have to have a shower first thing in the morning for a day to be productive, when I can't wear anything that looks dirty, when I condemn (really) young girls with boyfriends and when I fly off the hook for the silliest of things. 

I miss warm silly fights and everything to do with you. I miss hugging you tight and getting lost in it. I miss your food. I miss our random movie sessions. 

You are everything amma.

Project 21