A beautiful gem-less day

Today I feel beautiful! 
I woke up feeling refreshed. I got some emails sorted out. I had a good breakfast. I unwinded with scenes from a favourite movie as I ate. I got some work done. I switched on some music, showered, put on my new white shirt, and left for work. And as I type this, the music is still on! 

Mornings like this, before work are amazing.. It might be the fact that I read something amazing first thing in the morning, here (http://zenhabits.net/illusions/). 

I visualized this - me and my empty fuss-free self. There is no inner gem; I am protecting nothing. Am here to do some good, share some knowledge, learn some tricks, and spread some love. There's absolutely nothing inside that needs guarding and defending. No gem. I don't have to be right/competent/smart in everyone's eyes. 

And just so similarly, everyone has their own gem - things they are guarding and holding up. Their reactions and actions are to do with their gem and not mine. Hey, I don't even have a gem! 

I'll try this one day at a time! Today is gem-free! Today is ego-free!

Unconditional love for self

http://zenhabits.net/unconditional/

This just arrived in my inbox.. 

Unconditional love for self is a choice. Yes we have goals, dreams, and wishes. However, looking forward to these things shouldn't get in the way of perceiving the reality in less glamour! 

It shouldn't be a tendency to push this reality down in order to climb on to higher steps. I guess the present is always in a sadder, pitiful place from that perspective. 

This is you. These arms, these legs, this stomach, this smile, this walk, this home, these friends, this lover, these parents, this dog, this work, this company and this impact. This is all you(rs). 

Relish it! 

'I am great, I am beautiful, I am awesome and this day I am going to make all those things about me even better!' 

Happiness and contentment are choices we need to consciously make! 

Ordinary vs. Extraordinary

Do not ask your children

to strive for extraordinary lives.

Such striving may seem admirable,

but it is the way of foolishness.

Help them instead to find the wonder

and the marvel of an ordinary life.

Show them the joy of tasting

tomatoes, apples and pears.

Show them how to cry

when pets and people die.

Show them the infinite pleasure

in the touch of a hand.

And make the ordinary come alive for them.
The extraordinary will take care of itself.

- William Martin

I came across this beautiful treasure on Facebook! What a lovely thought - cultivating a habit in the soul to do ordinary things. We find love in the most simple gestures - holding the door open for someone and waving a hand to say goodbye. We find meaning in simple thoughts - saying 'I love you' and asking 'how was your day?'. We find joy in things that cost nothing - laughing with a friend and rain. We find satisfaction in simple things - eating the last bite of ice cream and getting a free slice of cake on your birthday.

I agree and wish that I did more to indulge in simple things, in everyday.

I disagree with (the phrase) not striving for an extraordinary life. I think that strife comes only when we indulge in ordinary things! Eating well, respecting the body, saying thank you, getting the needful rest, remembering to think of the universe and our minuscule role in the big picture, celebrating small wins, cultivating habits, enjoying the moment, and having fun. 

And sure enough, the extraordinary things will take care of itself!

Good night! 

Measuring customer service, inch by inch

Working in a field that is Customer Service at the crux and spending so much of my conscious thought on inspiring people to want to give good customer service, I look for good examples of the same everywhere.

Flight journeys are times when the genuineness of the customer service is obvious. I enjoy taking notes of their behaviour/training from my seat! I am yet to travel on a flight that gives awesome customer service. Might be because I frequent the MAA-SIN route more than any other, and because of which my data points are rather concentrated.

I had an epiphany earlier today while being onboard a flight from MAA. The difference in good customer service, from a bad one - lies in the gestures you make, in your entire body language.

The steward who came to give me food, bent down, asked for my meal preference, and placed the food on my tray; no other glamorous moves. The steward who came to collect my tray, stood there, with his hand stretched out, at about 1 inch (no exaggerations) away from the tray. I didn't notice him for a full 30 seconds, after which I lifted the tray, by that 1 inch, for the hand to collect it.

Now this 1 inch, is customer service. Or should I say customer satisfaction?

I was happy to hand him the tray, completely. What baffled me was that he stood there, without any speech, without any motion, but with his single demanding gesture of a stretched out hand barely short of the tray's reach.

If he had gone for grabbing the tray, I would have gladly put forth my help too. He would have made me feel thankful for having such help. Instead here I am writing a blog post about him.

Customer satisfaction, is going that extra inch to help your customers. You offer kindness and gratitude, for which they offer loyalty to your brand. We practice such gestures at UNIQLO - welcoming the customer once they are enter the store, offering assistance, using both hands to hand/take anything to/from the customer, smiling in all interactions, and thanking the customer for having visited us. I feel glad to have been trained so rigorously in giving this small inch of satisfaction to my customer. 

Hello 2015!

Its a whole new year and I am full of hope! Who isn't! 
I read a article earlier in the day about how just 8% of the people succeed in their new year resolutions every year. 

Who cares about statistics, hope is the whole point of existence! I want to do so many things in this year. And as these thoughts come by, I can't resist to firstly think of the year that has gone by. 

It was my first new year as an adult.

It was my first whole year of complete accountability.

It was the first whole year of salary. 

The first half of the year was great, I was in the glory of tiny successes at work. I was motivated by the recognition I got. I worked crazy hours and I was happy.
1) Increased expectations for myself: I intend to give up my usual pushover self. And to practice my strong will a lot more, actually in everything I do this year. At work, this would overhaul the way I have been dealing with things. I am breathing fresh air into all my projects as I write this. 2) Staying positive: It's the only way that works. Worrying, mourning, and bawling has helped nothing and no one. I should know that by now. 3) Staying calm: I display way too much emotions than I intend to. I have been a reactive person. I wish to change that and be a responsive person. Armed with these principles, I wish to go uphill on the path of learning! Perhaps the equation below will sum up my goals for the year :) 

The second half was spent in mourning; in doubt. I am still quite unsure why and what sparked the whole movement of backlash in my head. I think I was taking it out on myself. Work slowed down and I wasn't getting enough challenges. Rather, I was blind to all the opportunities that came by.

And as I recollect all those emotions, acknowledge them, and put them aside in the 2014 box, I feel like I am in a better place. I don't feel so light headed as I used to. I have thought about this coming year and I want it to be along the following things/themes:

Glow

I was watching Amelie (again) earlier in the day, and there is this scene where she walks away after helping an old man find his time capsule, from 40 years ago. It is pretty much the turning point of the movie. I love that movie. Absolutely. It captures small pleasures of life in the most astonishing way. It makes you want to work hard; to take initiative; to do things - all to stay and spread 'happy'. Because, quite simply, life is better that way. 

Let's talk about that scene. Below are the translated dialogues from that scene, in which she sees the fruit of her pursuit in helping a man remember good times. 

Amélie suddenly feels in perfect harmony with herself.
everything's perfect: the softness of the light, 
that little scent in the air, the peaceful sounds of the city .
Life seems so simple and crystal-clear that she's swept 
by this desire to help the all mankind. 

THIS my friends is the feeling I am referring to - the wind is in your hair; your eyes are sparkling; your smile is starring across the content face; your arms are swinging away; your walk is telling a story. And sometimes, that familiar feeling makes your stomach go funny. It starts in your stomach, rides up the throat, touching the heart on the way, and reaches your mouth. And if the intensity is stronger it rises up to your eyes and causes tears to well.

Some call it delight, some satisfaction, and some contentment. It's the feeling that fills you up entirely.   

You glow. 

After these times of satisfaction. 

You glow. 

At the evidence of your better self.

You glow. 

When you feel like a million bucks.

You glow. 

When you are infinite. 

You glow in the bravest of moments, after you accomplished something that you've been struggling with. You glow at times of sharing, from jedi to padawan. You glow at moments of seeing your hard work take form. You glow when you help someone. 

And there is this one lovely tweak to this phenomenon. You glow when you see someone else glow! 

For this glow, I wish; that this 2015 will be full of it - for me and you !

Pop music? Do fathers sing it? Or do they say 'pop' all the time?

Caution: Post ahead describes the life of an extreme noob when it comes to good music. Practice patience if you grew up on the other end of the rainbow! 

I sat amidst two friends two nights ago as they discussed rock bands and pop culture in India in the late 90s. I felt left out for most of the conversation and didn't have much to contribute. 

Fictional zoom to late 90s in my home..

D: Amma I want to go to this pop concert. May I?

A: Pop ah. Ethuku di chellam athelam? What do you get out of living an American life? We are in India. Let's stay grounded to this reality. Life isn't what those Americans live on your 'friends' tv show. There's a lot more to it... 

And she would go on and on and on

And btw when she said 'there's a lot more to life' she really meant 'there's a lot more culture to life'

Now mind you, this is a fictional zoom. Eventhough my mom has brought up the 'American life in friends' reference for anything remotely out of line - like ordering pizza. 

I as a kid until I was 13 did not know of a world of pop. I only knew Michael Jackson and thought that what he sang was called pop music, thanks to a particular uncle who loved listening to his CDs.

I am not sure which part of my childhood I owe thanks to (probably my mom), I grew up with a good overdose of Rahman, Kollywood and a rare influence of Bollywood. My family had no branches outside of Tamilnadu up until the late 90s. So that ruled out the possibility of bandha Bombay cousins and cool Calcutta second cousins who would influence my taste in music with exotic foreign elements. 

I grew up listening to Vijay and Ajith mouth Vairamuthu's Tamil lyrics. The source was radio stations that blared Tamil movie songs 24*7. That was my comfort zone. Then there was Shah Rukh Khan in Uyire - thanks to which I proudly know a few words of Hindi. That was the maximum I extended my music knowledge to. 

I know what you're thinking now. You're thinking I am one of those girls that attended every classical music recital in the 20km radius around my house dressed in a pattu paavadai. Sadly, you're wrong. The only classical music I knew was 'Igiri Nandhini' because we had to sing it in school prayers every Friday. 

Either this background or my own weird self is the reason for my inclination towards a non existent music life. Even to this day, I don't know the latest songs or what's on top 100 on billboard. I junk through spotify in search of some soul/blues/jazz when I am feeling smart. At other times, I settle for piano or guitar instrumental - because it soothes me. 

So that's it - that's the life of a music noob. 

Randomness apart, have a good week!

Is it too soon to give up?

For you one month is too soon, for him one year is too soon and for her one decade is too soon. 

When do you give up?

- when you feel let down

- when you don't grow

- when you only seem to be stuck

- when you stop learning

- when you stop innovating

- when you don't give it a 100% anymore

- when you get negative results

- when you get disapproved 

- when it's not morally right 

What about this then?

What about when you don't feel noticed at all?

What about when you are the nonchalance? 

What do you do at such testing times?

Do you fight back and say 'I will go forth' 'I will stay' 'I will do everything to move'?

Or do you give up? Do you accept defeat, learn a lesson, and still move on?

Where do you draw a line? 

| Chulbuli

SMS and delayed gratification

'1 message received'

Fluttering moments pass as I click the 'read' button. I wait in bated breath, under my sheets, as the Nokia takes it's own sweet time to reveal the '1 message received'. As I read the message, a part of my mind is drafting the reply. I click on 'reply' and type out the message. I re-write the message several times replacing the words, editing the punctuations to mask the shamefully overwhelming regard with unassuming nonchalance. Just to make sure the person does not over estimate my interest. I would wait more often than not, to reply at a time that is a sweet spot just in between too eager and disinterested.

This was a typical moment, a typical teenage moment in my life, 10 years ago.

This was delayed (sometimes on purpose) gratification. No, it wasn't about the boy I had a crush on. This was a reaction to pretty much any communication in the wonderful world of SMS.

The sender does not know if you received the message, the sender does not know if you read the message, the sender does not know if you are typing out a reply, the sender certainly does not know if you are editing that reply, and the sender most definitely does not know if you are waiting to send your reply. You can't send images, you need to use words to create the image. You can't send voice messages, you need to rely on punctuation. Excessive fullstops for a long pause. Several exclamation marks for excitement or disapproval.

After this episode replays back and forth, for about 15 times between the two people, it's time to say 'good night'. After sending that 'good night', I'd go back and click on the special messages - those that meant something more, the confusing messages - those that exercise my dilemma 'what could she possibly mean', the long messages - those that came in 4 parts and I had to wait till all were in my inbox to read them at one go, the one word messages - often the sweetest, the wise messages - those that were fit to be framed and hung in your living room.

And as I read through, without knowing when, I 'd fall asleep. 

What do you see?

A friend shared something on Facebook, something disturbing. It was a portrayal of fairytale princesses juxtaposed on the common issues faced by women. The artist has gone to the extremes of assuming everything that would go wrong after the fairytale ended and depicted her assumed reality in powerful images. It is an amazing tableau.

Take a look at the work here, and I have warned you. Even if you only know a tiny thing or two about them fairytales, it will disturb you.

I was so sad, going through these images; after having my fairytale endings shattered with pessimism. I had a lot of after thought - is this true? Would all this have really happened if the pages continued after the happily ever after?

Now, I understand that the artist wants to do this very consciously, that she wants to light up issues affecting women around the world through something that is very close to our hearts. In an interview she has even said that little girls being so obsessed with princesses inspired her to start this project.

However, I can't stop myself from thinking about the optimistic ending to these stories.

Snow White could have conquered family and career. We could have seen the struggle AND the victory (She could have hired a help to clean the house as well!)

Cinderella could be helping alcohol addicts revive their lives.

Rapunzel could have survived cancer, and shown us what she can do.

Red riding hood could be taking care of old people and helping them figure out happiness.

Maybe I am too optimistic for this world, and I can go on.


I just think there are two ways of looking at a cup - it's either half full or half empty!

A year of surprises - !

It was my birthday yesterday. I turned 22 years young and bought myself some red lipstick to feel the glam. 

I pray for a year of surprises and resolve to 'say yes before saying no'. And by that I mean, think twice before rejecting a new idea or opportunity. By that route, I hope to step on to a year of surprises! 

And so since it was my birthday inaugurating this wish for surprises - I hoped for two wishes and two gifts (come on, who doesn't like them!). 

Wishes

You always want to feel special on your birthday. It's that burning need cutting through your being; atleast for me. I wear my crown with pride that day; you can see it in my walk, if you look closely. 

And following all those emotions, I expect wishes from near and far; from love and hate. 

Reality - Some people whom I expected to call forgot it was my birthday, some loved ones stayed loyal and made me feel special with calls from across the seas, some wished me today morning, and most importantly, some of whom I had forgotten remembered to think of me. 

Gifts

I don't need a separate heading here. But just that my expectations for the day were divided into 3 main segments and gifts was one of them. 

Reality - I got none.

(I am lying, I made my parents spend a bit of their fortune and buy me a very fancy watch. Reason - they bought it for me when I visited them and not ON my birthday!)

Surprises

I like to think that I love surprises!

Reality - The night ended with someone calling me joker lookalike for wearing red lipstick. Not so glam, afterall.

I was rightly surprised at the end of the day as I went to bed! It all slowly came together. I indeed got my day full of surprises - starting from the first wish to the last; from the first meal to the last.  

Oh and I also spent an hour with a very successful (and rightly so) and lovely woman! It was an hour spent in awe for the way she framed her answers to all my curious questions. In retrospect - I couldn't have asked for a better gift! 

Today, I am happier as I count those meals and conversations as my wishes, gifts, and surprises :) 

And so, to a year of surprises, I raise a glass! 

What job did you hire her for?

I have been reading a thoroughly insightful book about the fundamentals of life - it's called 'How will you measure your life?' by a man who 'just gets it' - Clayton Christensen.

I am not entirely done with the book and I can't recommend it enough; already. If not for anything else you must read it for the principle about relationships. He suggests you question every relationship with this - 'what job is this person hiring you for?'. When you answer it you see the relationship from the other persons point of view; you see their expectations; you see their side of the picture. Once you decide this relationship means something to you, you gotta give everything you have to complete that job for that person. 

I understand that it can't apply to all the relationships we keep, but it certainly clarifies what lens I should be looking at my personal-and-close-to-heart relationships through. 

How powerful! Do read the book! It'll make you pause and ask the right questions :)

Learning from mistakes

It was a bad day at work. My very first of many more, as I have come to realize. I did not know how to react when things went wrong and started to fall apart. Stage 1 was denial as usual. And then I went through complain, acceptance, realization, and humor - through the day.

I was angry, mostly at myself; confused, at what I was doing; impatient, because I wanted to get away.

Making mistakes is an important part of the learning process. But being the person I am, I like to think that I don't make mistakes; that I am thorough. That itself was my first mistake. 

Refusing to acknowledge what had happened led to me being unfocused, adding some more smaller stones to the bucket of mistakes.

I was devising plans of quitting by now. How I'll resign; what I'll tell my mentors; what I'll do instead; and I also managed to cover which jobs I'll apply for.

And finally, like I always do with other things - I wanted to run away from the problem. When you are working in an environment like mine, you realize how that's near impossible. 

Thankfully, I reached realization by now and started working on my errors. I called it a bad day and did my best. I wrote down my errors and acknowledged them. I also wrote down what I'll do to make them go away. 

This was a long overdue lesson. Today, am happy; I know exactly why I am doing what I am doing; and I know how I am doing everything consciously. Today, I feel powerful, knowing that yesterday was just the day that had to be! 

It takes courage - but do it, face your mistakes, and make a sincere effort to acknowledge them. I know I will strive hard to not repeat all that again. 

"How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before beginning to improve the world." | Anne Frank

I read this as I procrastinated yet another personal project. How simple, how true! What am I waiting for? 

I am going try and ask mysel this question today. Every time; before I push something aside.

A little magical spot

I walk through a bunch of malls and food courts before I get to work everyday. It's a 10 minute walk that is my own sweet time just before getting ready to work. 

Now a part of this walk is through a glass dome that let's the outside environment transcend indoors only in the form of light. Otherwise working behind closed doors and windows this is usually my last sneak to the outside till later in the night. 

Today as I walked through this part I realized how it had the potential to be something amazing! It was raining outside and a usually bright day was replaced by dulled outsides. The bustling Sunday crowd only helped the mood, making it feel like a happy place. And I found myself saying 'what a magical day!' 

A kids perspective

It's been a commute high these past few weeks. Be it at home, in chennai where I was going across towns visiting grandparents, temples, and favorite restaurants or now back in Singapore with parents around. 

As a result there is the favourite task of noticing what fellow commuters are upto. Last evening I was on a pretty empty bus. Just as I got in and tapped I noticed a very friendly looking guy. He was obviously special. He waved frantically as people entered the bus all in return for an array of weird stares; obviously judgmental stares. 

I looked at him but could not help breaking into a smile. I was no different by the way. My smile was half guilty for not mimicking my fellow travelers in disapproving of his seemingly innocent happiness, and only half happy in seeing him.

I walked across him and into the back of the bus, lost in thoughts of my own inspired by the warm music playing in my ears. And every subsequent commuter had only judging glares. We were all united in our censure. Nothing was out of place. 

There was a kid next to me with his grandfather, and it looked like he was being picked up from school. The poor darling was tired and tried hard to keep his head from bobbing away in sleep. As if his efforts weren't enough, the grandfather would whack him on his thigh if he dozed a breath. 

A little while later the kids stop arrived and the couple got off their seats to walk to the door. The kid was just getting to terms with beating his sleep till he gets home. Like a drunk man, his legs gave way as he came dancing to stand still. He then looked around and remembered the special young man. He walked up to the man and waved, spelling 'bye'. They continued to wave to each other till the boys stop arrived.

I sat there putting my head down in embarrassment. What is it that makes us guilty of people living in their own will. When exactly do we stop being that kid and turn into heartless monsters. In fact isn't it our duty as responsible humans to show more compassion to that young man to make him feel included? Especially when he makes the first move.

You reap what you sow

One of the best things about living in my hostel is this - there is a supermarket that satisfies most of the urgent needs of a student. They even stocked up on my favourite cereal and my loyalty has been set in stone, since. Another part I admire about the store is how a group of middle aged women run it. In the first two years of university, there used to be a very friendly Aunty who even knew most of her customers on a first name basis. 

I came back to live in the same hostel in my fourth year only to find that friendly Aunty replaced by someone else - someone who didn't seem to like smiling or small talk, much. I reciprocated her air and didn't try to be friendly like I normally do. I didn't even thank her as often I'd like to. 

This morning I walked into the store deep in thought; I picked up my routine breakfast items and walked to the counter without noticing her. I smiled and thanked without remembering to maintain an air of nonchalance. And to all my surprise she returned my courtesy with a smile. 

That's when I realized something. To get affection you need to give it. To get anger you need to give it. To get a smile you need to give it. To get compromise you need to give it. It's a two way process; always will be. 

How Google became my grandmother

I was talking to a retail entrepreneur about her journey in the industry so far. She spoke of her inspiration, her interests, and her dreams for the retail experience in the future. As we were going through different perspectives on our common interests, she brought up the idea of how help is so much closer to our reach than ever before in history.

She spoke of simpler times when one had to go look up encyclopedias to understand a concept. She spoke of the labour went into gaining knowledge; of how that affects the experience of understanding; of how one feels after gaining the knowledge.

And she contrasted that with the current day scenario where one simply looks up the concept on Google only to get 100,000 results in 0.04 seconds, as opposed to spending hours in the library.

I thought about how Google has indeed become my grandmother once I moved out of home. Pimple problem, math doubt, travel log, society interaction, and pasta recipe. It has got everything you need. It has summed up communication and access to information into a simple package for the user.

It is a wonderful time to be alive indeed!

Humans, first

I just read a local controversial article and as much as the gossiper in me wants to highlight it, the context is unnecessary. So I won't bring the issue up. What I do want to bring up is that we are humans first. 

People tend to forget the fact that pain is pain and blood is blood. Issues like rape and sexual assault are the same everywhere. Whoever does it to whoever else. Wherever it happens. Whenever. Life is life. 

It is so easy to get caught in a nationalist, regionalist, and cult sense before we realize that the pain was felt by another life. 

So before we draw conclusions, before we jump the gun, before we judge, before we spew the harsh words, it is pertinent to remember - life is life. 

Humans, first. 

Window AC, soan papdi, and motte maadi

It's countdown time in my world. I am down to the last few exams and presentations. Also that means time at home is coming soon and I can't help but make long lists of places to visit, projects to work on, people to meet, food to eat, and things to do.

I have been curating my list and just in time, a close friend sent this video. I don't care so much for the romance that goes on as much as for the things they do! It brought back memories of weekends with friends and family doing what the couple does, in Chennai. Apart from the video contributing to my never-ending-list-of-trivial-to-dos, it led to the three highlights of this post - window AC, soan papdi, and motte maadi.

Window AC was the highlight of summers as a kid. The thing with old age window AC is this - you can sit right in front of it and let all the cold air blow the summer away in seconds. As kids, me and brother used to fight for the place that receives maximum AC inside the room. This problem of positioning had become the root cause for K-5 war MMCCCLXXXVII.

We would of course not always fight. Mom would never let us turn the damn thing on if she saw us fighting. So instead warriorraja and warriorrani would compromise to set aside our differences till we got the permission to switch it on. We'd march into the room basking in our success, and turn the red knob down. You had to wait one whole minute for the regulator to take its own sweet time to get ready. The shoving and pushing starts as soon as the loud regulator starts humming the tune of heaven, bringing the breeze with it. We'd again resume to compromise and figure out a way to mutually benefit from an arrangement in front of the blades.

Soan papdi a.k.a Indian cotton candy was for the good days. If we had finished our homeworks on time, studied what we had to with focus, and if mom was in a happy mood - we'd swoon when we hear the soan papdi guy on the streets. Mom would send one of us to get the money from her purse and the other to go stop the guy. The three of us would rush down to buy the candy that would be packed in perfectly symmetrical cones of newspaper. We'd rush back, sit around in a circle and hog. If such a thing as nirvana existed, it probably tastes like hot, fresh soan papdi. 

Motte madi a.k.a terrace is that place on earth where you can lose yourself. I have never been on expensive holidays to exotic locations where I rejoiced in the wonders of earth, as a kid. But I have been to the terrace. Every time I needed to think, every time I needed some breeze, every time I felt like showing some love to my parents' little terrace garden, every time I wanted to sketch in daylight, every time I needed to get away from home, every time I felt the need to jog away my excess fat, every time I wanted to be happy, every time I wanted to see the sun set, and every time I wanted to see the moon glow.

The window AC has long been replaced by the split AC (always thought it was the most unimaginative name for a piece of technology) and the soan papdi guy found better prospects of employment - needing me to find a replacement to relive these two moments. But the motte maadi remains. And I can't wait to go back and indulge!