Wednesday, 17 March 2010

The New Life..

Its pretty entrancing. the new life. How I landed up here, away from all those I care for, away from all those that care for me, away from the things I am used to. Never during those crazy dreams I made up of my future, did I imagine changes THIS new.

I landed in a daze. I still remember sitting in that Car and staring into space, registering very little around me. I still could not believe anything. Rather I dint understand I guess. Why I chose to come here, for whom, for what. Many questions. Many many. Some are still staying there, like a huge Lorry blocking the path of small cars. Disorder to order, Bikes and occasional bullock carts to nothing but cars. Sad old buildings to new VERY tall ones. Indian to Chinese. Too many things, all at once. I knew no one, standing on the road that seemed to lead to nowhere, holding my dads hand, like those small girls in TV commercials (back home). The atmosphere smelt different.

With all those questions and more I went on. I let go of his hand. And let him go. He dint want to. I cried. A LOT.

Yet, I stand having found many darlings. Oh SO many. Many who landed here just like me. They make my day, everyday. They teach me how to be a better person. They help me grow up. I understand the troubles amma and appa go through. Some of them. I make my bread. I wash my clothes. I count my money. I clean my room. I perk myself up. I am my own. I feel better. in many ways. Confident. Maybe there is a meaning for all this.

Nevertheless, the dirty doubts keep cropping up, now and then. About this and that. And about him. Stopping my routine, making me pause and look dumb. I will learn to ignore them. Hopefully. And learn to trust. In things and people. In life.

Blah.

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